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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27103912">adopted by my chemical romance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killjoy_atthedisco/pseuds/Killjoy_atthedisco'>Killjoy_atthedisco</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All Time Low (Band), Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 04:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27103912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killjoy_atthedisco/pseuds/Killjoy_atthedisco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>when mcr finds a queer homeless teen asleep in the front garden of their house what will they do?<br/>the whole damn book is a trigger warning. also please read i promise it is good i update every Sunday scream at me in the comments if i forget</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span> I am  running as fast as i can without knowing where I'm going. I feel my backpack slapping against my back as I make large strides. I could feel the bumpy asphalt under the wearing souls of my shoes. I take sharp inhales of icy midnight air that momentarily cools down the fire that's in my lungs. It feels like I have been running forever. I quickly swipe  my ipod out of my back pocket  and check the time 2:55 am. I escaped my father's house at 10:00 pm. I got on the bus at 10:40 and I got off the bus at 1:40 and have been running ever since. I have no clue where I am.  The adrenaline just wore off and I have never felt more tired. I walk down the dark streets till I find a small area behind an apartment building. I sit down and rest my backpack against the wall. As I drift off to sleep I clutch the pocket knife that's hidden in the waistband of my jeans. I know that I probably won't use it but it makes me feel a little safer knowing that i can protect myself. Once I lay down against my backpack I drift off into a stiff uneasy sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> You're probably wondering who I am and what I am running from. My name is Ryder/davie I am genderfluid on the days where I am non binary or male  i go by ryder on the days where i am female i go by davie. I am also pansexual. I am running from my abusive father.  A year ago Back at home when I came out as gender fluid my dad was angry but he wouldn't hit me. He was more verbally abusive. Constantly calling me a faggot or a whore. Then as time whent on it got worse to the point were he would tell me to kill myself and that he was ashamed to have a faggot daughter.  But a month ago when i came out as pansexual also he was outradged. Constantly punching or kicking. So I decided I need to run away. I would rather be homeless than get attacked every day. Also i was forced out of the closet about being pansexual. He was looking through my phone and found on my insta that i was pansexual. So here i am a queer and homeless.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. getting used to the nicknames "doll" ,"sugar" and "sweetheart"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*A week later *</p><p>For the past week I have been at an all time low (no band pun intended) . I would be lucky if i could get a few scraps of food every day. The one place where I have been lucky is the dumpster behind a bagel shop where they throw out their stale bagels but they usually lock the dumpster so homeless people like me can't steal the trash. Every day the hunger pains are hurting more and more. My clothes are starting to get baggy and loose on me. It's around midnight and I am stumbling down the dark and desolate streets. Breathing in cold icy air. When I exhale I can see my breath. I'm so dizzy from my lack of food, water and sleep. Finally my body is starting to shut down so I collapse against a wall. I drop my backpack and lay my upper body against it. I clutch my pocket knife that's hidden in the waistband of my worn out jeans. I finally drift off into a deep sleep.</p><p>I slowly start to wake up when I start to hear people talking. "Do we wake her?" an oddly familiar person speaks their voice laced with concern. " I don't know what to do" a second familiar voice rings out, still sounding concerned. "Look how skinny she is. She mustn't have eaten in a while" a third voice says. I quickly realized that they are talking about me. I slowly opened my eyes to see a group of four men. In a state of fear in panic I quickly rip my pocket knife out and point it at them while I push myself away from them. my back hits the wall and i realise im trapped. "Whoa whoa sugar no need to pull a knife out on us sorry we scared you". I look up to the person who is speaking. I am absolutely shocked when I see Frank Iero standing there. His face sporting a sympathetic look laced with fear. Behind him was Gerard,Ray and Mikey all wearing the same look. "When was the last time you ate" mikey spoke up looking very concerned. I folded the pocket knife back up and put it back in its hiding spot. "Umm mikey i think i ate about three days ago". I respond to my voice wavering from fear. "Sense you know his name im assuming you know who the rest of us are right? Ray speaks up. "Yes I know you guys you are my favorite band.i always dreamed of meeting mcr but not like this". I say quietly my voice wavering half from embarrassment half from pain that's searing in my stomach. "Sweety are you homeless?" Gerard asks sympathy dripping from his voice. I shook my head yes. "Why are you guys here? How did you find me?". I ask cautiously. "Uhh sugar, you're asleep blocking our front door" Frank says kindly. I look behind me and see I am sitting against a grey front door. I was about to apologise and get up when extreme pain rips through my stomach. I groan and clutch my stomach curling myself into a ball. tears well up in my eyes and eventually are rolling down my cheeks. Gerard runs up to me and Couches down to me and rubs circles on my back. "Sweety are you okay?" before I could respond hot stomach acid rising up my throat burning as it quickly rises up. A turn my head to the side and throw up the stomach acid. Gerard is still rubbing circles on my back."oh sugar you really haven't eaten in a while how about you come inside and we can give you something to eat and you can take a hot shower". Frank speaks kindly.</p><p> Ray walks over and grabs my arm and he and Gerard help me up. Mikey walks over and grabs my backpack. Frank swiftly walks to the front door, puts in a key and twists it around until I hear a click. He opened up the door and quickly walked inside. Gerard and Ray help me through the door and sit me down on a plush leather arm chair. Mikey soon walks in after us and closes the door. They all looked at each other for a second and they all nodded and they went off to work. Ray walked off into a second room and I heard he started to fill a bathtub.frank walked into a kitchen and pulled out a pot. Frank then wandered over to the fridge and started to pull out ingredients. Gerard went into the kitchen and pulled out a large plastic bowl. Gerard swiftly walked over to me and put the bowl next to me. I assume the bowl was there if I needed to throw up more stomach acid. Mikey walked over to my backpack and opened it up and started to take out my clothes. Sheer panic washed over me. Mikey will find my binder. Mikey will find out I'm gender fluid. They will probably kick me out. I think Mikey noticed the panic in my face. "Oh dont worry doll i am just going to wash your clothes so they're all nice and clean" mikey says calmly. Before I could say anything he walked away with my clothes. I feel a second wave of Nauseousness come over me. And I feel the awful burn of the stomach acid as it makes its way up my throat.I hunch over the bowl Gerard brought to me and I threw up the stomach acid. Gerard must have heard this because he came over with a wet washcloth and set it on my forehead. "Poor thing". Gerard says softly as he rubs cyricles on my back. I rest my head against the back of the chair and groan. Mikey walks over to me and whispers into my ear "hey doll do i wash your binder with the rest of the clothes or do i hand wash it?" I look over to see he has a kind smile on his face. "Um, just wash it with the rest of my clothes" I say quietly. He nods his head and walks back to where he was. After about ten more minutes of sitting there with my stomach burning and gerard rubbing circles on my back. Ray walks in and says my bath is ready. Him and Gerard help me to walk through the hall and into a bedroom with an attached bathroom. Gerard and Ray sit down on the closed toilet. "So just leave your undergarments on so we can help you out of the bath. Sounds like a plan?" rays says in a kind calm tone. "That sounds good. Thank you" i say with a small smile plastered on my face. "No problem! I think Gerard is washing out that bowl. He will bring it back in a second just in case your stomach goes all funky". Ray says sweetly and giggles at the last part. I giggle a little to then Gerard walks in with the same bowl but clean. Gerard looks at me and smiles probably at the fact that I was giggling. "Okay sweetheart we will leave you alone so you can relax and get nice and clean. We will come back to help you out in about 45 minutes. Sound good?" Gerard said in a soft and caring tone "That sounds great, thank you gerard". They both walk out of the bathroom. And I start to strip down my clothes. As I peel off my dirty sweatshirt the smell hits me. I wonder why everybody let me in their house while I smelt like this? I wonder to myself. After I got undressed, leaving myself in a sports bra and boxers I slowly walked over to the bathtub and use most of my strength and energy to pull myself over the edge and into the warm water. After about 10 minutes of sitting there and enjoying the pure bliss of the warm water, I decide I need to wash my hair and my body so I look to the ledge of the tub and see three bottles one red bottle and two blue. First I grab the red bottle and read the label to find out it was strawberry body wash. i pour the pink sweet scented gel into my hand and start to rub it on my arms, legs, stomach, feet and shoulders. As I rinse off the gel by rubbing bathwater on my skin I can see I tinted the tub a brownish color from all the dirt that was on me. After I was done with the bodywash I move onto the shampoo. I dunk my head underwater to get my hair wet. I take the shampoo and pour a generous amount into my hair. I rub the shampoo into my scalp and make it get all foamy. I dunk my head underwater to rinse off the shampoo. After that I grab the conditioner and put it in my hair then rinse it off. Shortly after I rinse my hair from the conditioner I hear a knock on the bathroom door. "You can come in thank you for knocking". I say in a polite tone. A few seconds later Ray comes in with a dark grey towel. "Okay now that your all squeaky clean lets get you dried off and in a pair of sweats so you can eat some food". Ray says giggling. I stick my hand out and rays grab it and I stand up. I wobble a little bit because of the dizziness of not eating."whoa you ok their" ray says. "Sorry I am just dizzy" I say softly. Ray helps me keep my balance as I step out of the tub. He hands me a towel and I rap myself in it, really appreciating how soft it is. Ray leads me back into the bedroom where a clean dry pair of my boxers, my binder and a sweatshirt and sweatpants I have never seen before. "Uh ray mikey most have gotten the laundry mixed up because the sweat pants and sweat shirt are not mine" i say quietly worried he was going to be mad at me. "I know you had no pajamas so i thought these would work for now". Ray said happily. "Thank you so much," I say in a happy and thankful tone. After Ray left the room I slid off my wet clothes and dried myself. Walked over to the bed and grabbed the still warm boxers. "Mikey must have just got these out of the dryer" I thought to myself. After I put on the boxers I grab my binder and put it on. I grab the sweat pants and put them on. They were about four sizes too big so I pulled on the drawstring until they fit my waist and tie the strings in a bow. I grabbed the sweatshirt and pulled it on quickly because I was cold. I giggled at the fact that the sweatshirt went down to my knees.</p><p> After i am done getting dressed I slowly walk down the hall until I find the living room where I see all the boys talking about something to each other. Once I enter the room all of their heads snap over to me. "Hey sugar, I made homemade soup. And i thought while you eat you can tell us about you" I nod my head and slowly walk over to the table they were all sitting at. I was still dizzy from the lack of food. Once I sit down at the table Frank walks into the kitchen for a second then comes back with a small bowl of soup. " Sugar, I know your starving but if you eat too much for the first time in a while you will get sick," Franks says kindly, his voice dripping with sympathy. "Thank you so much. This looks so good" i say kindly but quietly. I take a bite of the homemade chicken noodle soup and I am shocked. It is so good and it has so much flavor. I quickly eat the soup, afraid this is the last time for a long time that I will have a full meal. "Slow down there you're practically inhaling the soup" ray giggles. I giggle slightly and say sorry. "So sweetheart whats your name" gerard says softly with a hint of curiosity. "Well my name is ryder but its also davie" i say softly "what do you mean ryder and davie are both your names?" mikey chimes in. I take a deep breath preparing myself for homophobic slurs and shouts of disgust. "I'm gender fluid on days where I am male or non binary. I go by ryder. But on days where I am female I go by davie" i say tears have built up in my eyes and now are slowly sliding down my cheeks. I look down at my lap in shame. they don't say anything i just hear them get up from the table. They must hate me. I start to shake. before i have more time to think i feel myself get picked up and put into a warm loving group hug. They release me from the hug. "Sweetheart that had to be hard to tell us. I am so proud of you and we all except you". Gerard says softly. And the other guys nod their head in agreement. "Well me being genderfluid has a lot to do with why I'm homeless" I say quietly. I then explained what happened and why I was asleep on your doorstep. The whole time I was explaining the boys were carefully listening. "One question" ray says "go ahead" i say a little louder because i am starting to get comfortable. "What's your pronouns for today?" ray asks sweetly " he\him" I respond. "Okay ryder I hate to say this but we are going to have to report your father to child protective services" he says with sadness and concern in his voice "I guess an orphanage is better than being homeless" I say in a monotone and emotionless voice. "Well doll I put you stuff in the same bedroom that you got changed in. you can sleep in there if you want" mikey says sweetly. "Thank you guys for all your kindness" I say, my voice wavering and on the edge of tears. "Aww sugar don't cry!" Frank says giggling. And for the second time that night I was engulfed in a warm group hug. "Can one of you guys show me to the guest bedroom so i can sleep?" i say while yawning. Gerard chuckles and says he will. He takes my hand and leads me out of the kitchen and into a hall. He stops in front of a door and says this is where I will be sleeping. "Goodnight sweetheart" Gerard says before he walks back down the hall. I step into the bedroom and immediately dig through my bag and find my pocket knife. I know i don't need it but just having it makes me feel safe enough to sleep. I slip the knife into the waistband and I crawl under the grey and black striped covers and I rest my head against the black pillow and almost immediately fall into a very deep sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. bad dreams and movie nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning I woke up to the glorious smell of bacon. I quickly jump out of bed and follow the sound of cooking and music. As I enter the kitchen I see that everybody is fully dressed and are eating sandwiches and chips. "Well look who decided to wake up" Ray said while giggling. "Why are you guys eating sandwiches and chips for breakfast?" i asked confused. Everybody laughs which makes me more confused. "Sugar it's about 2:00 in the afternoon". Frank says while giggling "why didn't you guys wake me up" i say while giggling. "Doll we all tried but you kept mumbling Steve I will knife you. And you tighten the grip on the waistband of your sweats. So we thought it would be safer to let you sleep". Frank explained while laughing. "Sorry about that" I giggled. I made my way over to the table that everybody besides Frank was sitting at. Frank was swaying and dancing while cooking in the kitchen. "Who's Steve?" ray asked, amused. "He was a homeless man who kept trying to steal my stuff while I was sleeping" I say like it's no big deal. The guys look at me with worried expressions. "Don't worry i never actually stabbed him" i said while laughing. The guys looked relieved. After a bit of small talk with the guys Frank walked in and handed me a plate with eggs and bacon. I happily took the plate and ate it happily. After I eat my food I walk into the kitchen and I start to wash my plate. As I'm washing my plate I hear someone enter the kitchen. "Hell doll, I hate to ruin your good mood. But I am going to call child protective services to report your dad". Mikey says in a sad and sympathetic tone. "That's fine. I enjoyed staying here while it lasted". I say in a sad but thankful tone. "I know me and the rest of the guys really liked having you stay here too" mikey says in a sad tone and hugs me. After we hug he looks at me and starts to giggle and then starts to laugh so hard that he's tearing up. I was still standing there confused. Gerard, Ray, and Frank walk in and see Mikey sitting on the floor laughing they look back up at me confused. "I don't even know" I tell them while giggling. A minute later Mikey has recovered from a state of cry laughing. Everybody gives him a look to have him explain what was so funny. "My sweatshirt on them is below their knees and that thing is practically a crop top on me" mikey explains while giggling.</p><p>*two hours later*</p><p>Mikey is still on the phone with child protective services. After about an hour he calls gerard,ray and frank into the kitchen to talk to the people. While all the boys were discussing something in the kitchen I stayed in the living room. I was watching my favorite movie corpse bride. About half way through the movie I felt my eyelids get heavy so I allowed myself to drift off into a peaceful sleep.</p><p>*dream/flashback*</p><p>I woke up and I was back in my bed. At my father's house I slowly get up and put on black jeans and a muscle tank top. I quickly style my short black floppy hair and put on a snapback. I cautiously walk down the stairs and see no one in the living room. I walk from the living room to the kitchen and there he was. I tried to sneakily walk away but of course he noticed "gabriella come back here now" my father's voice boomed. I walked back into the kitchen "yes dad" I said quietly. "What in the actual fuck are you wearing. You look like a boy" my father boomed venom dripping from his voice. "Dad, I told you I was gender fluid. I am a boy today and my name is ryder". I say with confidence. "You will never be a boy! You are a girl a faggot depressed ugly girl. Your only purpose in this world is to please men" my dad screamed at me. "I am a boy" I scream back at him, tears welling in my eyes. "Go kill yourself i dont need a fag daughter" my dad yells his voice dripping with venom. "Im not a faggot. And i wont kill myself no madder what you say" i scream back at him. Hot salty tears stream down my face. "KILL YOUR SELF FAGGOT" my father yelled at the top of his lungs. Pure radge gleaming in his eyes "I WONT KILL MYSELF AND I AM NOT A FAGGOT" i scream back at him.</p><p>*dream over*</p><p>I felt like I was shaking "sugar wake up. It's just a dream '' frank speaks. I slowly open my eyes and see all the boys looking at me with concerned and horrified faces. I launch myself into gerards arms and sob into his chest. "Sweetheart it's okay i got you" Gerard calmly spoke. After about fifteen minutes the sobbing turned into crying which turned into sniffles but I was still shaking. "Ryder, let's watch a movie tonight and we can all talk tomorrow," Ray says calmly. "Can we watch the nightmare before Christmas?" i say excitedly. " i love that movie! I will go make popcorn" frank says before scurrying off to the kitchen. I sit down on the sofa and Gerard sits on one side of me and ray on the other. Mikey comes over with three large blankets and hands, one for me Gerard and Frank to share and one for him and ray to share an extra blanket in case we get cold. After about five minutes of searching we found the movie. Frank comes in with two large bowls of popcorn and hands them out. And we start the movie.</p><p>After the movie was done everybody was asleep so I covered them with blankets. And I walked off to the guest bedroom. I decided to put my pocket knife back in my bag so if the guys wanted to wake me up I wouldn't stab them out of fear. As soon as I crawl under my blanket and rest my head down I pass out.</p><p>*four hours later*</p><p>I wake up after another horrible dream about my father. I am scared shitless i have tears streaming down my face. I walk back into the living room to see everyone's still asleep. I walk over to where Gerard was sleeping and I shake him until he is awake. " Davie or ryder is that you," Gerard says tiredly. "It's davie and I'm scared, can I sleep with you?" I ask while still crying and shaking. "Of corse davie but lets go to my room so we don't have to share the sofa with these nerds" he says while pointing to the sleeping guys. Gerard gets up from the sofa and gives me a hug. He takes my hand and leads me down the hall then into a bedroom. "You crawl in bed and get comfy. I am going to change into pajamas" gerard says softly. Gerard walks over to a dresser and pulls out his pajamas then walks to the attached bathroom to change. While Gerard was changing I kept thinking about what my father said to me in my dreams which were just flashbacks. Thinking about this makes me shake harder and makes it hard to breathe. I am breathing fast and I am crying harder. I heard the bathroom door open but I couldn't look up. At this point I am gasping for air. Then I feel myself getting pulled into a hug. "Sweetheart, try to match your breathing to mine ok?" Gerard says calmly. About five minutes later my breathing is normal again and I am not crying but I am still shaking really hard. "Here let's get under the covers and try to go to bed," Gerard says quietly. I quickly get under the covers and gerard wraps his arms around me protectively soon after I am asleep.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. the icing made me cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wake up the next morning to whispers and flashes of light. "Turn off the flash dipshit you may wake them" I hear Frank whisper. They think me snuggling Gerard is so cute. I decided I should melt their hearts. I groan and stretch and roll over and snuggle closer to gerard. "AWWW" mikey,ray and frank say. "Shut up dipwads" Gerard sleepy shouts at them then snuggles against me. "Sorry gee" I hear Mikey giggle. Then i fall back asleep in the comfort of a warm hug. The next time I wake up I feel myself being shaken "steve i will stab you, you crusty hobo" I snap. "It's not steve its Mikey," Mikey says while giggling. I roll over and open my eyes to find Mikey standing there with a goofy grin on his face. "Good morning Mikey" I say tiredly. Mikey leans down for what I thought was a hug but he just threw me over his shoulder. "Put me down" I say while laughing. He walked down the hall and into the kitchen with me still hanging off his shoulder. While in the kitchen Mikey grabs a cup of coffee and walks over to the sofa and finally sets me down. Once he sets me down the rest of the guys come in and sit down and stare at me. "What's going on, why are you guys staring at me?" i ask "kid we got good and bad news which one do you want to hear first" ray asks. I think for a second "um bad news first" I am still confused on what's going on. "Doll your dad went to prison and will be there for twenty five years" mikey says. All of them look at me worried for my reaction. All of their faces grow confused when I smile the biggest I ever smiled. I jumped up and start to dance around "YEESS YES YES!" I scream with pure joy. Most of the guys faces were relieved but still a bit confused. "Kid, I'm glad you're happy! But why are you so happy?" Ray asks, confused. "Well that piece of shit father would tell me to kill myself and that i was a faggot. He beat the living shit out of me too" i say in a rather blank tone. "That explains why you were screaming i wont kill myself and im not a faggot in your sleep" gerard says. "Yes most of my bad dreams are about my father. But now that skanky ass hoe is in jail!" I yell excitedly. Ray,Mikey and Frank are doubled over laughing while Gerard says "language" in a stern tone while trying not to laugh. "Oh, I speak english" i respond to Gerard with a smirk on my face. Me saying that sends mikey,ray and frank into a second round of hard laughing. And Gerard just cracks a smile. "So what's the good news?" I ask. "Follow me to the kitchen and ray cover her eyes" Gerard says clearly excitedly. Ray walks over and covers my eyes and guides me to the kitchen. Ray has me stop. "She can open her eyes now," Gerard says, sounding nervous and excited. I turn around and see Gerard is holding a small cake with the words "can i adopt you?" written with icing. In that moment tears are brought to my eyes and are streaming down my cheeks in an instant. I run over to Gerard who thankfully set the cake down before I flung myself at him. Gerard picked me up and hugged me as I was sobbing into his shoulder. "Well davie I'm assuming this is a yes" Gerard says through his own tears. "Yes a thousand times yes" I said with tears still streaming down my cheeks. "The way you guys said that made it sound like you proposed gerard" ray said while laughing "shut up raymond" me and gerard said at the same time. Which sent everybody into a fit of laughter. I'm so happy this will be my family. "Guys, let's go shopping for davie" Frank shouted to everyone "that should be fun!" Ray shouted from somewhere in the house. "I'm going to get changed before we go" i shouted "okay i will get ready to" gerard said. I walked into my room and dug through my bag till I found a pair of jeans and a random shirt. After i was finished changing I walked into the living room were everybody was waiting. When ray and frank saw me they both burst into laughter i gave them a confused look as they were rolling around on the floor in tears because how hard they were laughing then mikey hand gerard walked into the room and saw ray and frank on the floor they gave me a curious look before both of them burst out laughing. "Whats so fucking funny" i said confused. Ray got up from the floor "holy shit your shirt is great" ray said wiping tears from his eyes. I looked down to my shirt and it read "fuck this fuck that fuck you im becoming a stripper''. I forgot about this shirt. Tears immediately were brought to my eyes. I was crying while chucking lightly at the same time then that turned into just crying. "Shit are you okay doll?" mikey asked, looking concerned. " yeah just memories. About two years ago me and my best friend got bored so we went to a craft store and bought stuff to decorate t shirts" i pause to take a deep breath and i start to smile then chuckle. "Once we got home we wanted a drink. Somehow our plan of just having one rum and coke turned to us taking multiple shots of vodka. So me and my best friend were wasted and doing arts and crafts. And when i woke up the next morning this is what i made. I don't even remember making it" i say while chuckling and wiping away a few stray tears. "Aww sweetheart we can visit her she can stay here for a few days if you want '' Gerard says with a smile "gee that's sweet of you but she cant see me anymore" i say with a smile sadly with stray tears running down my cheeks. "We can talk about it later about gee but for now let's go shopping" i say with a big smile. The guys looked at me worried but brushed it off.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. shopping can be tiring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once me and the boys arrived at the mall and I was feeling better. Gerard helped me calm down by putting on a few of my favorite songs in the car. So after jamming out to green day fall out boy and p!atd. We pulled up into the parking lot of a huge mall. While the boys are chatting about something along the lines of comics i start to feel anxiety surging through myself. There are so many people in this mall. I was snapped back in reality by Gerard tapping my shoulder. "Are you ok davie?" Gerard asked me in a concerned tone. "I good" I say while sporting a huge fake smile and I think the boys noticed but didn't say anything. We all hopped out of the car and walked into the mall. "Ok here's the plan i love you davie but i don't want to go shopping with you for the famine clothes." mikey stated "so how about you go pick out all the more femine clothing first then me can meet up the men's section in macys. Sounds good?" mikey asked. "Sounds great but there's one problem '' I say embarrassed. "What's the problem?" Frank asked sweetly. "I umm don't have any money ''  I said embarrassed. Gerard just started laughing "oh sweety were going to pay for your clothes" Gerard said chuckling. " Please dont waste your money on me," I say worriedly. I really don't want them to spend money on me before they realize how awful I am and return me. "Sugar, we are more than happy to get you clothes" Frank says sweetly. Mikey, Ray and Gerard nod their head in agreement. "Here my card sweety dont worry about a spending limit" Gerard says happily and they all walk off somewhere. I decided the first place I would go to is hot topic because I'm emo, I mean my dad Gerard is the  king of emo. When I walk into a hot topic I can hear grand theft in autumn by a fall out boy playing. After I pay at hot topic, I start to walk to forever 21. At hot topic I got a few fall out boy shirts, green day shirts, a nirvana sweatshirt, and a panic at the disco sweatshirt. I walk into forever twenty one and start to walk over to where the skirts are. I try to be as fast as possible the girls in forever twenty one are always so mean and judgmental. As i checking out with my two skirts one girl struts  over to me and whispers in my ear "you shouldn't be shopping here fag" i felt tears rush to my eyes but i suppress them so she cant see that what she said bothered me. I checked out and I quickly walked out of forever 21. "Okay now I need to find the men section of a macys" I say quietly. After about 15 minutes of wandering around the mall I found the men section of macys. I don't see any of the guys yet so just decide to start shopping. I walk over to wear them and have boxers and I grab a pack of extra small. After I grab boxers I walk over to where they keep their shorts. As I'm flipping through the shorts I get a tap on my shoulder. I was expecting to see one of the guys but I am only met with an employee of the mens section of macys. "Hello mam, can I help you today?" the employer says sweetly. "No thank you '' I say quietly, anxiety rushing through me. "Aww you're so sweet shopping for your boyfriend'' the worker says. "Oh um actually i'm shopping for me today" i say quite awkwardly. The worker's face turns disgusted. "I'm going to need you to leave," he says, venom dripping from his voice. "Why do i need to leave?" i ask timidly. "IM SORRY but we dont tolerate FAGGOT girls shopping in our store" he says raising his voice. Somehow I am feeling a burst of confidence. " Well I'm sorry but i have the right to shop here girl or not" I say calmly but confidently. He looks enraged; he suddenly pushes me to the ground and towers over me. " WE WILL NOT HAVE A FAGGOT DISAPPOINTMENTS SHOP HERE" he yells his voice booming. This is reminding me of my father so much I am sobbing at this point. I put my arms in front of my face in case he is going to hit me. " I FEEL BAD FOR WHOEVER IS YOUR PARENT. THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR FAGGOT ASS, IM SHOCKED YOU DIDNT KILL YOURSELF YET" he screams at me. I am praying that Gerard comes to help me. "YOU BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY KID RIGHT NOW" i hear Gerard yell with power. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. "It's ok, it's me Davie," Ray says calmly while Gerard, mikey and frank scream at the worker. I am sobbing and gasping for air while clinging to a ray like a koala. Ray is just whispering encouraging things in my ear. I feel myself start to shake harder and it's getting harder and harder to breathe. I am gasping for air while crying hard. I hear ray shout something and I feel myself get passed to someone. By the smell of their cologne I can tell its Gerard. I feel Gerard softly jog somewhere while rubbing cycles of my back. I hear the car door open and I expect to get set down but I don't. Gerard just sits in the backseat and holds me while we drive home. I have for the most part calmed down but I am still shaking and hiccuping from crying. I am so exhausted from sobbing i feel myself drifting off to sleep, while still having a death grip on Gerard I close my eyes and almost immediately fall asleep.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. once a alcoholic always a alcoholic (its not gee)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When I wake up I notice I'm in my bed and my stomach is grumbling. I realized i haven't eaten anything today. I feel exhausted from breaking down. After I throw on mikey's sweats i look in the mirror and see my eyes are red and puffy from crying. I stuff my short fluffy hair in a beanie and I walk out of my room and down the hall until I reach the kitchen. Rays sitting on the island reading something on his phone and eating chips. I walked into the kitchen and walked up to Ray and gave him a hug. "Oh hey kid are you feeling better?" Ray says softly, his voice dripping with sympathy. "I guess I'm feeling fine". I answer flatly and sadly. "Can you show me where the cups are so I can get a glass of water" I asked quietly. "Let me get that for you," Ray says kindly. "Thank you ray, also where is Gerard,frank and mikey?" I ask quietly. Ray walks over and sets the water in front of me. "Frank is talking to the people at macy, and gerard is in the living room, and mikey is at the mall finishing picking up clothes for you" ray says with a sympathetic smile. I smile back "That's so sweet of Mikey I will have to give him a hug when he comes back" I say kindly but still quietly. I set down the glass of water and wander over to the living room where I see Frank looking pissed while on the phone and Gerard sitting on the sofa. I walk up to the sofa and Gerard looks up and smiles and opens his arms for a hug. I gladly accept the offer and crawl into his lap while he hugs me. "YES HI I HAVE BEEN ON HOLD FOR 20 MINUTES. MHHM YES... NO I WILL NOT HOLD I SWEAR IF YOU PUT ME ON..... THOSE FUCKERS PUT ME ON HOLD" frank says angrily. I giggled and looked at Frank who looked stressed so I crawled out of Gerard's lap and gave frank a hug. As soon as I hugged Frank I noticed his scowl turned into a smile while he hugged me back. I let go as soon as I heard that Frank wasn't on hold anymore. Frank gave me a friendly smile and got up and walked out of the room while yelling on the phone. I walked back over to Gerard. "Thank you so much for saving me Gerard, it means alot to me" I say with a grateful smile. "Oh sweety, I am your dad. I will always be there to protect you, I just wished I got there sooner." Gerard said sweetly and the last bit guiltily. I was just about to say something when ray yelled from the kitchen "CAN I HAVE SOME OF YOUR ADOPTION CAKE?" me and gerard giggled and i yelled back "ONLY IF YOU BRING ME AND GERARD A SLICE" i giggled when ray walked into the room holding three plates. "Thank you ray" Gerard says before digging into the cake. Me Gerard and Ray were mindlessly chatting when Frank ran into the living room and "THAT FUCKER IS FIRED AND WE GET A GIFTCARD" Frank yelled triumphantly. We all giggled and I thanked Frank for being on hold for two hours. We were all sitting in the living room eating cake and listing to frank rant about how much he hates macy's customer service when mikey walked through the front door with four large bags two of the bags being what i bought at hot topic and forever 21 the other two bags being what mikey picked out for me at macys. As soon as he sets down the bags I walk up to him and give him a large hug. " Hello doll, how are you feeling?" Mikey asks sweetly. "will you help me put the bags away in my room?" I ask. Mikey gives me a questioning look then realizes that I will tell him in my room. We both pick up two bags and carry them to my room. We both set the bags down on the floor. "Tell me how you're really feeling, doll" mikey says sweetly. I completely break down and tell Mikey everything. About what that girl said to me in forever 21 and about how the worker that was screaming at me in macys reminded me of my dad. " I JUST WISH I WAS FUCKING ACCEPTED, I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL" i finished my rant frustratidly sobbing. Mikey just rub circles on my back. I heard the door open then I noticed that frank,gerard and ray slipped into the room and wrapped me in i hug while i just cried repeating the words "i just want to be normal". "Oh sweety normal is boring nobody wants normal" Gerard says sweetly "we love you just the way you are! Fuck anyone who dosent accept you" ray says in a cheery tone. I feel a small smile creep its way on to my face. "Let's go have a big lunch to cheer you up. All you had to eat today is cake" Frank giggled. So we all got up and walked to the kitchen. Me gerard ray and mikey were sitting on the kitchen island talking with each other while frank started to grab ingredients to make lunch. "Frank, can i help you cook?" I asked in a hopeful tone. Frank gave me a huge smile and yelled "SURE". "Thank you for letting me help you. I haven't cooked since I was 6" I said in a bittersweet tone. Frank gave me a sad smile. "What are we going to make frank?" I ask quietly. "Grilled cheese and tomato soup," Frank says excitedly. It's really funny to see how excited Frank gets over cooking. "Ok sugar, I need you to make the grilled cheese while I heat the soup" Frank says happily. "Frank, to tell you the truth I don't remember how to make grilled cheese," I say giggling. After about a half an hour of burning food and laughing, lunch was ready. And of course my emotional ass started crying. "Kid why are you crying?" ray said concerned and confused. "We're eating lunch like a normal family!" i said with a huge smile and tears streaming down my face. "Aww doll we will try our hardest to have family lunch and dinners together" mikey says with a goofy smile. After lunch the boys went off and did their own thing. Gerard probably went to go draw or write. Mikey went to go read. Ray is watching a movie. And frank is washing the dishes. I decided to go into my room and lay down on the bed and listen to music. Yesterday and today I have been really craving something but I can't tell what it is. I close my eyes and try to really focus on what I am craving. All of a sudden it hits me like a sack of bricks. Alcohol is what I'm craving. Yes i am beyond happy that gerard adopted me but just because he did adopt me doesn't mean my demons were going to go away. After a few hours of zoning out and thinking I came up with a plan. Once we all have dinner i am going to wait until the boys go to bed or at least to their rooms and i am going to walk to the corner store near their house. If I get caught I will say I was buying tampons. I ate dinner with the boys but I was anxious and not talking much. I don't think they noticed. After Dinner i helped wash the dishes and Frank,Gerard go to their rooms and Ray and Mikey are watching a movie. I come out of my room an hour later to see that Ray and Mikey fell asleep. I quickly go back into my room and grab my pocket knife and my wallet and I quickly and hopefully quietly slip out the front door. I start to descend down the street. I shiver slightly as the icy air nips at my nose. After about three minutes of walking i step into the store and there's absolutely no one their. I walk down the aisles of the store and pick up the tampons and walk up the front counter. "Can I have a small bottle of vodka and a box of your cheapest cigarettes?" I flatly say not wanting to show how anxious that I am using a fake id. "Sure miss but i'm going to have to see your id" the man says tiredly, not wanting to be there. I pull out my fake id and he reads it then hands it back to me. "Okay miss that's going to be $23.57" i pay him the cash, take my bag and leave. I put the cigarettes in my pocket and i hide the alcohol in my boot. Once i arrive at home i try to sneakily open and close the door i thought i was successful until i started to walk to my room until i heard someone say "and where do you think your going" i turn around to see mikey and ray looking pissed concerned and curious all at the same time. "I went to the store" I deadpanned. "Why did you need to go to the store at one in the morning?" ray said. "I want you two to put your heads together and think why a girl may need to take an emergency trip to the store" i sassed them and walked to my room and shut the door.I do feel kinda bad for lying to them. Once i heard the two shuffle off to their respected rooms i pulled out the bottle and took a large swig and that's all i can remember. I woke up the next morning with a screaming headache. I slowly shuffle out of bed and into the bathroom hoping there's pain medicine in there. When I opened up the bathroom cabinet I was relieved to find advil. I took two of the small pills and shuffled back into bed and fell back asleep. That's what's been going for the whole week. I wake up with a hangover, sleep until noon, get up and have lunch with the guys. After lunch the guys go to the studio. While there at the studio I go to the store and get alcohol and cigarettes. The guys come home, we eat dinner and watch a movie then we go to bed. I get drunk and smoke cigarettes out the window, fall asleep. for the next day. But today was different. The guys said they were going to be at the studio until really late that night. I am very excited now I don't have to be so discreet about the drinking and smoking. So once they leave I wait a half an hour and head to the store. The cashier knows me and I usually stay and talk with him for a good thirty minutes before I head back to the house. When I walk inside I head straight for my room. I put music on and lay on my bed. As I put the bottle to my lips I couldn't help but to feel guilty.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. puking and calling him dad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*gerards pov* (i wanted to switch things up)</p><p>I felt bad that we have been away from the studio lately. I bet davie is getting lonely at home so me and the boys decided to go home early today. We told davie this morning that we would be at the studio all day so this will be a great surprise for her. So we wrapped up our work around two o'clock and headed home. On the way home the guys and I decided I will run in and get davie then we will take her out for a nice lunch. When we pull up outside the house I turn to the guys "it will be a few minutes" i say excitedly. I unlock the door in the house and step inside. The first thing i notis is the punk rock music blasting from her room. I giggle to myself and make my way to her room and knock loudly on the door. "G-gerard?" davie slurs and giggles. Is Davie drunk? I thought to myself. I quickly open the door to see Davie on her bed with sunglasses sipping on a half empty large bottle of vodka singing along to I write sins not tragedies. "DAVIE WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DRINKING AND WHERE DID YOU GET THE ALCOHOL?" I yell completely pissed off. "I-i used a-a fake id" she slurred and giggled. "DAVIE WERE IN THE ACUTAL FUCK DID YOU GET A FAKE ID" i yell. Before Davie could respond frank ray and mikey walk in looking confused. "Why does it smell like vodka and why are you yelling? Mikey asked, totally confused. "Well little miss davie here used a fake id and is shitfaced with a bottle of vodka" i say sarcastically and pissed. "Gee i know alcohol triggers you, you go to bed and we will help davie" frank says sweetly. "We can talk to her in the morning when she is sober," ray says. "Okay thank you, I love you guys goodnight" I say stressed out. "G-gerard silly ducky you h-ha-have to say good-n-night to me" davie slurs drunkenly. "Goodnight I am very disappointed in you we will talk in the morning". I say coldly while walking off to my room.</p><p>*mikeys pov*</p><p>Once Gerard walked down the hall and into his room I walked over to Davies' phone and I turned off the music. "H-heeey buckaroo i-i w-was listening to that-t" davie slurs out. "Holy shit she drank half a bottle of straight vodka by herself" Ray says, absolutely stunned. "Holy hell she is going to have one insane hangover tomorrow," Frank says, still shocked about how much alcohol she drank. "Okay one of you guys go get water for davie one of you get a bowl and set it by her bed, i will help her into pajamas" i say calmly. Ray and Mikey both walk out of the room to get water and a bowl. I walk over to davie and help her get out of bed and walk over to the dresser. Somehow while getting davie out of bed she turned the music back on. "Miiiikkeyyy b-bro dance with me" davie slurred while starting to dance weirdly. At this point I couldn't hold on to Davie so I had to go get the guys for help. I walk out of the room and into the kitchen where ray and frank are. "Guys davie wont stop dancing and i can't get her into her pajamas. Ray and frank giggle and walk with me back to her bedroom. When we walk in davie is very sloppy head banging and air guitaring to Uma Thurman by fall out boy. I was about to walk over and stop davie when ray said to me "let me record her for a little longer" after the song was over we were all tearing up because we were laughing so hard. The next song to come on was american Idiot by Green day and davie loved it. "Fffffffrankk c-come dance with me you p-party l-lobster" davie slurred out drunkenly. Honestly I was kinda happy that ray was recording this because this is absolutely hysterical. Frank walked over and grabbed Davies' hands and slowly guided her to her bed. Once we got Davie to lay down she was out like a light. So once we turned off her music and turned off the lights we slowly crept out of her room.</p><p>*Davie pov*</p><p>The next morning I woke up to a screaming headache, very angry looking Gerard and a disappointed looking ray,frank and mikey. Before they could even speak I bolted out of bed and into the bathroom throwing up the previous nights vodka. I heard Gerard mutter "fucking hell" and walk out of my room. Ray just came over and sat by me on the bathroom floor and rubbed circles on my back. "Here sugar" frank said quietly handing</p><p>Me a glass of water and two pills. "Thank you franky," I said horsley. "You are really funny drunk, we are still pissed about you getting drunk but you are really funny drunk" ray said giggling. Before I could even respond I threw up more of the sour tasting vodka. "This is one of the worst hangovers i have ever gotten, how much did i drank last night" i ask tiredly as i lay down on the bathroom floor. "You drank about half a bottle of vodka," ray says, disappointed. "I'm really sorry Ray," I say sadly. "Honestly kid me frank and mikey are not that mad about it, Gerard you have to talk to" "he's pretty upset" ray says. "Why is Gerard so upset?" i ask confused. "That's for him to tell you not me" Ray says. "You should lay down," ray says calmly and helps me walk over to bed. Once I lay down I fall back to sleep. I woke up around 10:40 pm that night. I still had a headache but I was feeling better. I slowly walk out of bed and into the kitchen. I don't see anyone. I wander into the living room and I still don't see anyone. I walked down to the hall that had all our rooms. When I went back into my room I sat on my bed and just started thinking. I felt really bad about drinking and upsetting gerard. The more I think, the more upset I get until I am silently sobbing. I slowly crawl out of bed and walk down the hall until I am outside of gerards door . It takes me a minute to build up the courage but I knock on his bedroom door. I hear someone shuffle on the other side of the door then it slowly opens. As soon as the door opens I launch myself into gerards arms sobbing. "I'm so sorry" I sob into gerards chest. "Shhhh, it's ok" Gerard says softly. "No it's not okay Gerard, all i do is disappoint people." I say still sobbing, pulling at my hair frustratedly. Gerard gently takes my hands away from my head so I can't pull out hair. "That's not true sweety," Gerard says calmly and softly. "YES IT IS TRUE GERARD IM A 14 YEAR OLD ALCOHOLIC" i yell while crying in hysterics. "Sweety, I need you to calm down, please try to match my breathing," Gerard says calmly. After ten minutes I for the most part have calmed down. "Gerard, I'm so sorry" I say weakly. "Sweety, it's ok, I was an alcoholic for three years." "I was trying to drink away my depression," Gerard explains softly. "I got sober in fourteen days with the help of the guys, they helped me now we are going to help you" Gerard says with a small smile. "I love you dad" I mumbled softly as I fell asleep in gerards arms. "I love you to sweety"</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. "god i feel like a mom"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up probably an hour later. I tried to go back asleep but the cravings were really strong. Not wanting to wake up Gerard , I slowly crawl out of bed and pad into the kitchen. I feel thirsty but no amount of water could make the thirst go away. All I could do is pase the kitchen clutching my glass of water like it was my lifeline. I don't even know how long I was hopelessly wandering in the kitchen But it felt like my legs were going to give out so I sat down on the kitchen floor sobbing frantically drinking the water trying to get rid of this extreme feeling of thirst. I don't know how much time went by but i heard someone start to get up. I was still sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing drinking water to make me feel like i'm not dying.</p><p>*franks pov*</p><p>I slowly wake up and get the strangest feeling that something is wrong. So I got up and put on sweats. I walk out of my room and down the hall. That's when I hear the sobbing sound like it's coming from the kitchen. So I walk fastly to the kitchen and see davie/Ryder sitting on the floor sweating and sobbing drinking a huge glass of what I hope to be water. "Davie or ryder?" I ask softly. "Ryder" he chokes back at me. "Ok sugar, let's go lay down" I say softly. I helped him get up and helped guide him to his bed where he laid down and silently cried. Seeing Ryder so vulnerable reminded me of when we helped get Gerard sober. So I laid down next to Ryder and played with their short black hair until they drifted off to sleep. Once Ryder was asleep I texted ray</p><p>frank: "ryder is starting to have alcohol withdrawal symptoms." "i will have mikey take gerard out for most of the day can you stay here and help".</p><p>To which he responded</p><p>ray:"That poor thing." of course i will help out today hopefully ryder will feel better before gerard comes home"</p><p>Ok now that texted ray i will text mikey.</p><p>Frank: "i need you to take gerard out all day. Ryder is having alcohol withdrawal symptoms and i don't want it to trigger gerard."</p><p>Mikey: "i can do that. I will take gerard to the comic book store and the art store".</p><p>Ok now that i got all of that sorted out. I am going to get dressed and hope Ryder is still asleep. I slowly creep out of Ryder's room and down the hall into my room. After I get dressed I go into the kitchen to get ryder a glass of water. I notice there's already a glass of clear liquid on the kitchen floor. "I hope ryder didn't get a hold of more vodka'. I think to myself. I pick the glass up and take a sniff to find that it's water. "Holy shit did davie get more vodka" Ray asked. "It's ryder today and thank god no this is only water" i say relieved. "Well i will get the laptop for movies and you get water and pain pills for him" ray said. "God, I feel like such a mom" Ray muttered as he walked back down the hall. I chuckled and walked over to the cabinet grabbing a plastic cup and filling it with water and a few ice cubes. As i was reaching in a different cabinet for the pain pills i heard ray half yell "ryder what the actual fuck". Dear god what now i thought as i walked into her room with the water and the pills. Once I walked in I saw Ryder smoking a cigarette out the window. "Ok ryder we are frustrated at you right now" i try to stay calmly. "No shit Sherlock, I'm pissed" Ray says Ryder just chuckles and puts out his cigarette on his wrist. "Oh ryder" I say sadly Ray looks horrified and confused. "Ray go in the kitchen" I whisper to him. Ray nodes and walks out of the room. "Okay sugar here is some water and pain pills, give me your cigarettes and show me where your alcohol bottles are" I say calmly. He takes the water and the pills and sets them down on his nightstand. He then reaches under the bed and pulls out 5 empty bottles of vodka. I take the bottles and walk out of his room and into the kitchen. "Holy hell he drank all of that" Ray asked, shocked. "Apparently" I say frustrated. "Why did he put his cigarette out on his wrist" ray asked confused "its a form of self harm, some people do it instead of cutting" i say sadly "oh god the poor kid, we need to talk to mikey about this when they get home but for now let's go in their and watch movies with him" ray says "that's a good idea. Me and Ray walk back into the room and hop up into the queen size bed and lay down next to ryder. "Are we going to watch movies all day?" I ask Ryder in a hopeful tone. Ryder nods and gives a small smile. So ray opened the laptop and we scrolled through netflix until we decided on the nightmare before christmas. Me and ray both cuddled around Ryder who smiled widely and hugged us both.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. "i couldn't describe a more perfect night"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*ryders pov*</p><p>I slowly awoke to noises coming from the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hand and rolled over to check my phone. When I picked up my phone from my nightstand I noticed it was about two in the afternoon. After staring at my ceiling and contemplating if i should take a shower or not. I decided that would be for the best. I slowly and lazily rolled out of bed and shuffled into the attached bathroom. I turn on the water and turn around to grab my pajamas while i wait for the water to get hot. I walked to the draw and grabbed my new pajamas and I placed them on the toilet seat. A few minutes later I stepped into the hot shower immediately feeling more awake. While washing my hair I can see flashes of light out of the bathroom window. I excitedly hurried up my shower so I could sit and watch the storm. I hop out of the shower and dry myself off with a towel. I slip on my incredibly soft pajamas and walk out of the bathroom. When I step back into my room I can see the beautiful storm through the large window that is above my bed. I walked over to the worn out backpack that I brought when I first came here and I pulled out my watercolors and my small watercolor sketchpad. I set those things down on the window seal. I was just about to sit down when I had a wonderful idea. I shuffled over to the dresser where the speaker was and grabbed it and walked back to the window. I quickly connected my phone to the speaker and turned down the volume so only I could hear it. I sat down on the ledge in front of the window and painted the beautiful sky. I always have loved storms and how breathtaking it is to see dark blues and grays of the sky. I loved how certain clouds were highlighted when a bolt of lightning runs through them. In this moment of me sitting in front of the window watching the storm while i paint with soft music playing in the background i truly forgot about my demons and all my worries.</p><p>*gerards pov*</p><p>I was excited to finally come home today. Now don't get me wrong I love that mikey wanted to go to the comic book store and the art store out of the blue, but i know Ryder is going to be sick all day from alcohol withdrawal and I wanted to be their to comfort them. Me and Mikey got home around one and I saw Ray and Frank in the kitchen chatting quietly. "Hey guys how's Ryder" i ask the two adult children who were currently having a heated debate about lion king. Both of their heads turned towards me and they both gave me a soft smile. "They are good. They were not feeling to good earlier this morning but we took care of them and they fell asleep during the movie we were watching" frank answered back softly not wanting to wake ryder whose room is just down the hall. Me and the guys were discussing things about the upcoming album when I heard the shower turn on. About 10 minutes later I heard the shower turn off. I waited a tiny bit before I wandered over to Ryder's door and knocked. I heard a very faint "come in". When i stepped into the room and saw that all the lights were off and ryder was sitting at the window with a small sketchpad in her hand. I wandered over to they were sitting. "How are you doing" i ask softly not wanting to ruin the soft atmosphere that was taking place in the moment. "Im doing great right now. I feel so calm" the answer with a genuine smile. "Do you mind if i get my art supplies and i sit here with you" i ask softly hoping they will want me to sit with them. "I would love that" they answer with a genuine smile. I quickly scurry off to my room and slip out of my skinny jeans and leather jacket and put on my skeleton onesie. After i get into my onesie i grab my sketching supplies and shuffle back down the hall into her room. I sit across from them on the window ledge and begin to sketch. We both were sitting there silently enjoying eachothers company. When the speaker they had on switched to a different song i can see a smile form on their face. She turned the speaker up so its a little louder and can hear creep by radiohead softly playing. When the song starts i was slightly shocked to hear Ryder start to sing. "When you were here before" they sing softly "couldn't look you in the eye" i sing softly with them. When they hear me sing with them they look up with a huge smile. We quietly sing together with that song while we both are creating art. A little while later we hear a soft knock on the door. "Come in" ryder says softly frank sticks his head in and says "can we join you guys" Ryder gives a big smile and says "of course" frank the scampers of to his room for a few minutes then comes back in the room in his pajamas and with a acoustic guitar and a notebook. He lays down on Ryder's bed and grabs his guitar and strums along with the songs that come on. And when a song he doesn't know the song that comes on he makes up guitar parts for the song. About ten minutes later mikey and ray walk in and lay a blanket on the floor. They both lay down and grab a comic from the stack they brought in. At this moment I am truly happy. I have my family all sitting and silently enjoying each other's company. The only sound is Frank's gentle strumming that fills the room. I look up at Ryder to see them with a soft smile gently painting. I couldn't describe a more perfect night.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. well i knocked frank out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*gerard pov*</p><p>After hanging out and watching the storm till about midnight I had ryder go to bed. Frank went to his room and continued creating riffs on his guitar. Ray and Mikey wanted to watch a horror movie they were geeking out over. I trudged to my room and tried to go to sleep. After about an hour of tossing and turning and feeling wide awake I gave into my insomnia and pulled out my laptop. I wondered in my head what work I could do right now. I could work on lyrics, I could check our schedule and see when our next upcoming tour will be. Speaking of tour I need to email our manager about Ryder coming with us. About a hour of sending out emails I realized I needed to find a school for ryder. After another hour of searching, I found a nice looking school to send ryder to. It is a public school that is lgbtq+ friendly. And has a nice art program. The next time i check the clock it is 3:06 am. I sigh and close my laptop and try to drift off into a light sleep.</p><p>*ryder/davie*</p><p>When i woke up this morning i was in a wonderful mood. I roll out of bed and but on a pair of black skinny jeans, a mayday parade shirt and a leather jacket.i walk into my bathroom and style my short black hair. Once I brush my hair and brush my teeth. I walk out of my room and into the living room to see frank sleepy frank making coffee. "Good morning frankie" i chirped "well someones in a good mood" frank says tiredly. "Good morning Davie or Ryder," Mikey says calmly with a hint of sleep in his voice. "Ryder" I say happily. "Do you want a cup of coffee?" Frank asks more awake now that he has had some coffee. "What are we going to do today?" i ask Mikey and frank. "I think Gerard is going to talk to you about school," Mikey answers, not looking up from his comic. I groan and lay my head against the counter. "Well someone is excited about school" frank chuckles "i don't want to go to school and deal with the jocks and the barbies" i say glumly " just avoid them and if they talk to you sass them" mikey says finally looking up from his comic. "Mikey, that's a horrible idea, Ryder will get beat up" Frank says like it is obvious. "Well excuse me I could beat up anyone. I have fighting skills, never doubt me" i sass to frank. "I'm sorry but I doubt you can fight," Frank says chuckling at me. "You me backyard NOW" I say absolutely pissed off. Frank sassily sets down his coffee cups and walks towards the door. "Don't start fighting until I get ray," Mikey says excitedly. I walked out into the backyard where Frank was sitting on a lawn chair smoking. I walked over to the grass and started stretching. When I started stretching Frank started laughing "what's funny?" I asked annoyed while touching my toes. "Why the hell are you stretching for a fight?" frank says while laughing. "You underestimate my abilities" I say while smirking. Frank just chuckles and puts out his cigarette. Suddenly the back door swings open and a very excited ray and mikey run to sit down on the lawn chairs. Frank walks over and stands in front of me. "Okay before we fight ray,mikey place your bets on who you think will win" "sorry kid but i think frank will win" mikey says "i agree with mikey" ray says guiltily. "Okay sugar if i am hurting you to much just stay stop and we will stop" frank says gently. "Same with you buttercup" i say with a smirk. Frank looks pissed off. Mikey stands up " okay start fighting in 3...2...1...GO!" mikey shouts. Immediately Frank goes for a punch to my face. I quickly duck down and punch him in the stomach. Frank slows down for a second and I take that time to swing and punch frank in the face. Frank has blood running down from his nose. Out of nowhere Frank socks me in the eye and I fall backwoods on the grass. At this point I am filled with rage "YOU BITCH" . I yell at Frank and I run full speed at him and I ram into him. He falls on his ass and I knee him in the stomach. Frank pushes me back down on the grass and punches me repeatedly on my face. I kick him hard where he does not want to be kicked and he groans and rolls on to his back. I stand up and get into a fighting stance "you want me to stop now franky" i say sweetly. He gets up and tackles me while punching my face in one last resort to win this fight. I punch frank as hard as I can in the head and his full body weight drops on me. " RYDER DID YOU KNOCK FRANK OUT?" mikey yells i just groan with tears in my eyes i just hear really hard laughing "holy shit ryder your awesome" ray yells happily. "Yeah I'm glad you're happy but i think i broke my fingers can someone drive me to the hospital" i say sassily. "Okay kid, we will haul Frank inside and set him on the sofa, go ask gerard to drive you to the hospital". Okay sounds good i say calmly. After Mikey and Ray roll Frank off of me I stand up and skip inside the house. "Hey gerard" I yell "wacha need sweetheart" Gerard yells from somewhere in the house. "Can you drive me to the hospital? I think I broke my hand" I yell back casually "YOU WHAT" gerard yells back in a panic. He runs down the hall and into the kitchen where I was sitting. He looked horrified to see my bloody bruised face. I just chuckled at his reaction, "what did you do?" he asks insanely confused. "Frank underestimated my fighting skills so i fought him" i say casually "oh sweety nobody usually beats frank in fights" gerard says softly. I burst out laughing "i won i knocked frank out" i say while laughing. Gerard looks horrified yet proud. "Holy shit you're strong!" Gerard says with a huge smile. "We can Celebrate later first can we go to the hospital" i sass. "Oh right sorry lets go" Gerard chuckles. We both get up and walk out to Gerard's car. We sing along to the radio the whole way to the hospital. "You are awfully happy for someone with a broken hand" ray chuckles. After an hour of x-rays I pick my color cast and have Gerard sign the hospital paperwork. I look down to the black bolky cast and sigh. "Lets go get you ice cream," gerard says with a smile.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. "I SAID DRUM ROLL PLEASE" Gerard snaps sassily</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*ryder/davie pov*</p><p>When me and Gerard walked into the ice cream place and immediately get stared at. Imagine a man with shoulder length black hair wearing a misfits shirt black skinny jeans and a leather jacket. And a boy with skinny jeans a all time low shirt short black hair face covered in bruises and a black cast over his hand. Bolth of us  sporting large smiles. Once me and Gerard order our ice cream we both sit down at a table. Gerard holds up his ice cream cone and says rather loudly "to winning the fight". "To beating the shit out of frank" i say with a huge smile. The rest of the people in the ice cream shop stare at us in horror. Once we Finnish our ice cream we were about to walk out of the shop when i said "wait lets get frankie some ice cream to" to which Gerard responds "your so kind".</p><p>*Gerard pov*</p><p>We were bolth on our way back from getting ice cream when I decided this would be a good time to tell Ryder about school. "Hey sweetheart, I have bad news," I say nervously. "What is it dad?" Ryder says curiously. My heart swells when he calls me dad. " You start school in a week" I say Cautiously. Ryder just groans and throws his head back against the passenger seat. I chuckle "it won't be that bad". "I guess it won't be that bad. But can we get more clothes before school starts" Ryder says with a smile. " we can get more clothes" i say with a smile while i pull into the driveway. Me and Ryder unbuckle our seat belts and I grab franks ice cream and we walk up to the front door. I unlock it and we enter the house to see Mikey, Ray and Frank all watching a movie. All their heads snap over to us. "HOLY SHIT YOU BEAT ME! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU" frank yells with a smile and runs up and gives Ryder a big hug. "I got you some ice cream as an apology for knocking you out" Ryder says with a smile. "AND YOU TWO OWE ME A HUNDRED BUCKS" Ryder shouts excitedly as he points to ray and mikey. Mikey grumbles and pulls out his wallet. Ray just smiles "honestly i'm sorry i doubted you and your fighting abilities". Both the guys pass Ryder his money and Ryder smiles widely. "I HAD A IDEA" Frank squeals like a ten year old girl and runs off somewhere. About a minute later frank runs back into the living room holding a bunch of different colored sharpies. " Can we all sign your cast?" Frank asks super excitedly. "Yes but don't draw dicks or anything i wouldn't want on the cast" Ryder says with a smile.</p><p>*Ryder pov*</p><p>After about 10 minutes of talking about random stuff they finally let me see what thew drew on my cast. Dad drew the demolition lovers and a spider. Frank drew boozy the ghost and a dog. Ray and Mikey just signed my cast. "I love it thanks guys" i say sweetly. They all nod proud of their work. After about 10 minutes of watching tv and chatting i think of something i have no clue what city i am in. "hey guys what city and state are we in?" i ask the group of guys. "Umm Ryder how do you not know what city or state or state you are in" ray asks, completely confused. " to escape my father i took a bus for about 4 hours and i ended up wherever we are now. I was here for about a week before you guys found me" I say calmly. All the guys look shocked. "Well we're in Belleville, New Jersey," Frank says softly. "HOLY SHIT I'm from Massachusetts" I say in shock while laughing. "How did you travel to a new state and not know where you are" mikey says in shock. "I was so high on adrenaline I don't even remember the bus ride" i say honestly. About an hour later of me and Ray watching tv frank playing on his phone and mikey and Gerard both on their computers i noticed dad is looking quite stressed. He muttered some curse words while typing out a few emails. He suddenly got up and called   a phone number while walking to another room. About a half an hour later dad came back into the living room. "Ok ryder i have some bad news" dad tells me sadly. I start to get worried. "Dad, what's wrong?" I ask anxiously. "We go on tour about two weeks after your school starts so what we're going to do is your going to be staying at a bands house while you Finnish school then once the school year is over your going to fly out to wherever you are to Finnish tour with us" dad says with a nervous smile. "I'm a little disappointed you guys will be away for so long but i am happy i will Finnish tour with you guys" i say happily. " the rest of the tour once you come with us will only last about half the summer so you can spend the second half of summer with your friends" Gerard says happily with jazz hands. "Well i was on the fence but the jazz hands convinced me" i say jokingly. Dad just chuckles. "Your probably wondering who you will be staying with" Gerard says with a large grin. I nod my head excitedly. "Drum roll please" Gerard says excitedly. His face drops when ray,mikey and frank ignore him and still look at their devices. "I SAID DRUM ROLL PLEASE" Gerard snaps sassily. Everyone groans and starts drumming on their legs on the sofa. "You're staying with......ALL TIME LOW" Gerard says excitedly. My mouth just hangs open. "I'm staying at the all time low band house" I say in absolute shock. Gerard chuckles "i know i'm the best" he says while doing a hair flip. I squeal in excitement and hug Gerard. "Can we hang out with them before i stay with them just so i can get to know them" i ask excitedly. "Thats a good idea i will text them" Gerard says happily.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. we were screaming to fall out boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*ryder/pov*</p><p>Its been about three days since Gerard told me about staying with all time low. Today we are going to go and hang out with zach,jack,ryan and alex and i am insanely nervous to meet them. And on top of those nerves school starts in two days. While i was getting ready my thoughts were making me panic more. I feel like i am drowning in a sea of my own thoughts. At some point I feel my knees harshly hit the floor and my lungs feel constricted. "Hey try to mach your breathing to mine" i hear someone say. I feel myself get pulled into a hug. After probably 10 minutes i feel myself calm down and i finally lift my head up from the chest of whoever helped me calm down when i look up i see a very concerned mikey. "What happened doll?" mikey asks quietly. "Im so scared to meet ryan,jack,zach and alex and on top of that i start school soon" i say while still shaking slightly. "Why are you scared to meet them?" mikey asks quietly "i guess i'm scared to come out to them" i say quietly. "If you want to i can have your dad talk to them so they can understand" mikey suggests. "I like that idea" i say with a small smile. "Is their anything else worrying you about meeting them" mikey asks. "How will they know how to deal with my nightmares and panic attacks, how will they know what to do when I get a strong craving for alcohol or cigarettes, how will they-" i was cut short by Mikey saying. "I promise gerard will talk to them about everything" "i feel better thank you for calming me down" i say with a smile "you don't have to thank me its my job as your favorite uncle" mikey says with a large grin. "BITCH PLEASE I'M HERE FAVORITE UNCLE" frank yells pissed After mikey helps me up off of the floor and goes to argue with frank I scurry over to my closet and grab a pair of black skinny jeans and a yellowcard shirt. Once I put those on I walked back to my closet and grabbed my tand and black flannel. I laced up my doc martens and I styled my short black hair and looked in the mirror. I looked good. I grabbed my backpack and put my sketchbook and watercolor paper and my tin of watercolors and some of those paint brushes that hold water in them. I grabbed my wallet and my pocket knife and I grabbed my emergency cigarettes. No i am not proud of having cigarettes with me but if it means I smoke a cigarette rather than get a panic attack in public i will choose the cigarette. Once i zip up my backpack i put it on my shoulders and walk out of my room and down the hall i stop when i hear dad on the phone with someone. "Yeah just ask their pronouns in the mornings dont make a big deal about it '' Gerard says into the phone. "When they are female they go by davie when they are male or non binary they go by ryder" gerard says with a proud smile "yeah.... Mhm hmm... i think their pronouns today are he/him or they/them but i will ask them to make sure" gerard says happily into the phone. While he continued talking to i assume someone in all time low i walk up and hug gerard i mouth "thank you" to him gerard just smiles back. I let go of the hug and walk into the living room and sit on the sofa. To help calm my nerves i pull out my headphones and plug them into my phone and shuffle my playlist when one of my favorite songs comes on the acoustic version of wolf in sheep's clothing by set it off. I start to slightly dance around in my seat while i listen. Suddenly i feel plop down next to me and rip out a earbud "hell yeah i love this song" frank says happily. "Come on now children lets get in the car" ray says while chuckling. Once we all pile into the car frank yells "pass ryder the aux cord he has good taste" gerard happily passes me the aux cord and i put on dance dance by fall out boy. Once ray hears what song it is he turns it up super loud and we all sing along. When we finally pull up to the restaurant were we will be meeting everyone we have american idiot by green day blasting from the car and we all sing along obnoxiously. When ray turners off the music were here people singing the next line of the song from across the parking lot. "Well thats definitely them" frank says and chuckles. Sure enough we look across the parking lot to see jack and alex singing rather loudly and zack and ryan looking embarrassed. We walk over to them and everyone besides me hugs and says greetings. "You must be the rebellious teenager who knocked frank out" jack says while smiling "that's me" i say nervously. Jack pulls me into a hug and yells "we are going to party while your staying with us". "Speaking of that, I have rules that I will explain to you at lunch," Gerard says calmly. "Yeah be ready gerard printed up a packet of rules and things you should know" ray said chuckling. All of the group were talking and starting walking towards the restaurant. I just trailed along behind the group. I saw Zach look around until he saw me. He smiled and walked over to me and held out his hand. I held his hand with the arm that was not in a cast and I peacefully walked with him. "I can see your anxious i know it can be overwhelming to meet new people. Honestly, I get anxious to" Zack speaks softly. "I probably will be all shy and awkward until i really get to know you guys then you will get to see the loud and bold personality that i am" i say as we walk through the doors of the restaurant. A kind waitress walked us over to a huge table and sat us down. I looked at the menu and decided on grilled cheese. While everyone was talking the noise was making me a little anxious so I put in my earbuds and I pulled out my small sketchbook. I couldn't hold the sketchbook with my casted hand so I balanced it against my leg. I feel my anxiety calm down as last night on earth flowed through my earbuds. I carefully sketched out the night when we all were in my room watching the lightning storm.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. "no problem cupcake"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My drawing was interrupted when I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. I take out my earbuds and look up to see zack "the waitress wants to know what you got for lunch" zack spoke with a warm smile. I was immediately filled with panic seconds felt like minutes "c..can i have t..the grilled cheese" i stuttered quietly. The waitress rolled her eyes and jotted down my order on her notepad. After chatting with the guys and eating our lunches i was feeling more comfortable around the all time low guys. I quietly excused myself from the conversation to use the restroom. As i enter the women's restroom i see the most beautiful girl i have ever seen. A girl with long curly black with red tip hair. She was wearing a black skirt with a green day shirt and a black and white flannel. I quickly notice that I am staring so I walk over to the sink to wash my hands. "Your really handsome, what's the name and pronouns cupcake?" She speaks kindly but confidently. I blush at the nickname she gave me. "I'm ryder I usually go by he/him or they/them and the occasional she/her. I speak softly. "It's nice to meet you ryder im ness" she speaks kindly. "Hi ness" i say quietly with a small giggle "since you seem to Shy to ask for my phone number i will give it to you" she says with a smirk. I quickly pull out my phone and hand it to her. A few minutes later she hands back my phone. "Thank you for your phone number" I say shyly "no problem cupcake" . She speaks confidently and she gently kisses my cheek. My face flushes in a warm blush. After she saw how much I blushed she smirked and gave me a small wave and walked out of the bathroom. I stand there frozen in shock. I finally snap out of my senses and walk out of the bathroom and sit down at my seat and think about what the heck just happened. "Ryder are you ok?" Alex asks with a smirk. "I..i'm fine" i stutter out embarrassed "are you sure because when you came back from the bathroom all blushy then you stare off into space blushy and smile" alex conines with a smirk. I realize how strange i must look. "I'm fine, I just don't feel too good" i lie. "Can rider drive back to your place with us!" jack squeals. "Are you up to that ryder" Gerard asks sweetly. "Sure only if Jack doesn't drive" I say jokingly. Everyone chuckles and gathers their stuff. Ryan runs up to me and carefully holds my casted hand. And we start to walk out of the restaurant. Jack sprints up to us and grabs my other hand. Once we all pile in the car jack asks me how i broke my hand i just chuckle "well do you want the short story or the long story" i say with a smile. "Give us the short story first," Alex says excitedly. "I broke my knuckles when I knocked out frank" I say chuckling. "YOU WHAT NOW" Ryan and Zack scream at once. I just burst out laughing. " Well we want the full story now kiddo" Jack says excitedly. "Well I was not excited by school and Frank asked why and I said I wasn't excited about dealing with the jocks and the barbies" I carefully explaine. "Well mikey gave me the advice to sass the jocks and barbies if they talk to me frank said that would get me beat up" i say smirking knowing what happens next. "Well i said i can beat them up and to not doubt my fighting skills of course frank says i doubt you can fight so i screamed at him to meet me in the backyard" i say chuckling. "Well after punches and kicks were exchanged frank pinned me down and was punching me in the head so i punched him as hard as i could in the head and i knocked him out" i finnish my story with a smirk. All the boys were speechless. "Your so fucking cool!" Jack yells excitedly. "I didn't feel cool, my knuckles hurt like a bitch" i say and all the boys chuckle. "Can you pass me the aux cord?" i say excitedly. Once I am passed the aux cord I play partners in crime by setting it off. Alex sings the female voice and i sing the male voice. By the end of the song we are crying and laughing. My laughter was cut short by pure excitement when I heard the intro to i'm not a vampire by falling in reverse. I squeal in delight as I gracefully shred on my air guitar. When we get to the guitar solo my fingers move like lightning across the imaginary fret board "fuck it up,fuck it up" jack chants as i continue to air guitar. Once the song ends ryan bursts out laughing. "I have never seen someone so serious while playing the air guitar" ryan wheezes. "Well when you got as rad air guitar skills as me you have to be serious" i countered back jokingly. "Oh god she's spending too much time around Frank she's saying rad '' Alex says while giggling like a schoolgirl. We finally pull up in front of our house. We all hop out and I unlock the door and let myself in with the boys following behind. When i reached the living room dad,frank.ray and mikey all had weird looks on their faces. "So when are you going to teach me?" Frank asks. I look at him confused. I was just about to ask him what he was talking about when mikey cut me off "your so talented" he gushed. Ray, dad,mikey and frank look like they were trying to hold back laughter. "How many hours did it take for you to get that good" ray asked while trying not to laugh. "Is someone going to fill me in on what the fuck your talking about" i say extremly confused. Everybody in the room burst out laughing. "Y.....your air guitar skills,how a....are you so good" dad asked between laughing. I quickly whip my head around to the all time low guys who were smirking. "Ok which one of you little shits recorded it" i said trying to sound serious but failing. Alex slowly and guilty raised his hand. "Well post that shit somewhere i cant have my talent unrecognized" i say trying to sound serious. All the guys burst out laughing. "I'm just kidding, don't post anything anywhere" I say slightly panicked. "Its all good we wont post it anywhere" dad says with a sweet smile.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. the bubblegum pink switchblade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wake up with a sick feeling in my gut as soon as I realize that today is the first day of school. With a groan I roll out of bed and walk up to the speaker. I bet if i play my favorite songs it will help me calm down before i go to school. I turn on the speaker and death of a bachelor comes floating through the speakers and fills my room. "Do i look lonely" I sing as I sway my way over to the closet where I pick out blue jeans, a black shirt and a leather jacket. "I see the shadows on my face" I continue to sing while I change. "People have told me I don't look the same" I sing as I put on my leather jacket. I sing as I style my hair and lace up my doc martens. "The lace in your dress tangles my neck, how do I live" I sing as I carry my speaker down the hall and into the kitchen. "The death of a bachelor oh oh letting the water fall the death of a bachelor oh oh seems so fitting for happily ever after oh how could i ask for more a lifetime of laughter at the expense of a death of a bachelor" i belt out as i grab eggs out of the fridge and wait for the coffee pot to Finnish brewing. "Im cutting my mind off feels like my heart is going to burst" i sing "alone at a table for two and i just wanna be served" a second voice joins in and i turn around to see Frankie. He holds out his hand and we slow dance and sing around the kitchen. "I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall The lace in your dress tangles my neck, how do I live? The death of a bachelor Oh oh Letting the water fall The death of a bachelor Oh oh Seems so fitting for Happily ever after (woo How could I ask for more? A lifetime of laughter At the expense of the death of a bachelor" me and frank belt out. When it comes to the small instrument break frank spins me around and I laugh. "The death of a bachelor Oh oh Letting the water fall The death of a bachelor Oh oh Seems so fitting for Happily ever after (woo) How could I ask for more? A lifetime of laughter At the expense of the death of a bachelor" me and frank Finnish belting out we look at each other and burst out laughing. "Okay i got that all on video and that was fucking adorable" Gerard gushes. I jump slightly because I didn't see him there before. "Well I know how nervous ryder is about starting school so i tried to take his mind off of things so i danced and sang with you" frank explains. "Thanks uncle frank" i say and give him a hug "also good morning dad" i say as i walk over to the cabinets and pull out 3 mugs and set two of them in front of dad and frank. "Are you feeling better about starting school" dad asks with concern in his voice. "Kinda but i am going to try and act confident so people can't pick on me" i say as i pour the coffee into the mugs that are in front of the two sleepy men. "Sounds like a good plan to me" Frank chimes in. Gerard has a shocked then angry look on his face "wait this is my first time sending my child off to school and you're pouring me coffee and making breakfast. Sit your ass down and let me cook the rest" Gerard says while rushing over to the stove. I just giggle and walk back over to where he was sitting. After eating breakfast with the guys and them wishing me good luck I grabbed my backpack and started my trek to school. About halfway through walking to school I hear a Familiar silky voice call out "hey cupcake' i stop dead in my tracks and turn around to see ness with three other people. "Hi ness" I speak confidently. "I would like to introduce you to these assholes who happen to be my friends" she laughs. "This is jett" she points to the tall lanky boy dressed in black jeans, a white t-shirt with short Unnaturally bright red hair and a black leather jacket. ness smirked "this is bones" she points the the very muscular kid with short brown floppy hair he was also wearing jeans a tshirt and a leather jacket. ness said, smiling at her friend. "And last but not least this is sid" ness says pointing at the girl with long black curly hair dark makeup. Sid was wearing a very short black skirt with fishnets and huge clunky boots she was wearing a black bra with a see through mesh shirt over it. "I'm the leader of this gang. Ness is cocky and confident but she hates being in charge" bone spoke with a smirk and a dark chuckle. "Got it" I say with a slight stutter. Jett chuckles "ness you picked up a nervous one didnt you". "Stop being such an asshole jett" sid spoke while rolling her eyes. "But on a serious note we have to meet behind the bleachers with the west preps" bones spoke while starting to walk to where I assume the bleachers will be. "uuuggghhh why do we have to deal with them again" ness whined. "They want to work out territories" bones spoke in a sarcastic happy voice. "I don't mean to interfere but can you explain to me what's going on?" I spoke softly. "Well there are two schools here in belleville one is belleville high which is the dump we are at now and the other school is belleville prep the fancy private school that the super rich kids go to" sid explains to me. "Apparently because they are rich they like to start fights on us the queer punks" jett continues explaining. "This side of town is our territory, the other side of town is their territory," ness explains to me. "You will need to keep a pocket knife on you for now because you're in our gang" bones spoke while sitting down on the bleachers. "I got her" sid said. Sid dug around in her backpack until she pulled out a bubblegum pink switchblade. She handed me the switchblade and i shoved it in my back pocket.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. "WASSUPE MOTHER FUCKERS"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You know how to use a switchblade right?" bones asks me, his face soft with concern. "Yep i'm really good at fighting and I have experience with using a switchblade" I answer honestly. "Good we never know what bullshit the preps are going to pull so be ready for a fight" sid answers while lighting up a cigarette. "What time does class start?" I ask while fishing around in my backpack for my cigarettes. "About a half an hour" ness answers while doing tricks with her butterfly knife. I finally find my death sticks and my lighter and I take a long drag on my cigarette. "Didn't take you as one to smoke," jett says while smirking and taking a swig from a travel coffee mug. "Didn't take you as one to spike your coffee" I shot back with a smirk. Jett looks dumbfounded "how the fuck did you know" jett asks visibly confused. "I can tell from the color and smell from your coffee" I say like it's no big deal while taking another puff from my cigarette. "Damm ness you sure were right when you said they would be perfect" bones said with a smirk. "Guys mister and misses prep are on their way over" sid said in an excited tone. Bones stood up and started to make his way over to them and me, ness, sid and jett started to follow him. "How's the leader and his gang of queers" a girl with a perfectly straightened brown bob said. She had a full face of dramatic makeup and She was wearing a pair of high waisted jeans and a yellow tube top. "Were doing wonderful aren't we guys" bones said with a smirk while looking back at us. "Fucking peachy" ness responded with atitude. "Well look we're not here for trouble we just wanted to let you know that you should watch your backs" the tall boy in nice clothes stated. "Oh no, we're so scared im just trembling" sid said while jumping into jetts armes like they were in scooby doo. The two were about to walk away but then they turned around. The girl started to jump up and down and clap her hands like she was five. "Ohhh we got fresh meat" the girl snearned with a smirk. The girl strutted up to me and pushed me. Jett was about to come over and help me but in a few seconds I tripped her and sent her to the ground. "Don't touch me hun, also nice to meet you" i say my voice dripping with Obviously fake cheery tone. The girl scoffed and got up and strutted away. "You will pay for that" the boy who i'm assuming is her boyfriend yells at me. I just laugh. Suddenly the bell rings. "So which one of you wants to skip the first period to show me around" I say happily. All of the gang is still standing there in shock. "Yeah they're definitely in the gang," bones mutters. "That was fucking awsome i will gladly show you around" jett said while skipping over to me. Ness glared at jett. "Bye guys i will see you at lunch, and don't worry ness i will return your precious cargo" jett said with a smirk and with that we walked off. "Ok we need to go to the office so we can pick up your schedule" jett says while skipping and bouncing around like a small child. After weaving our way in and out of hallways he leads me into the office . as soon as we enter the office the secretary looks up and sees jett and fear washes over her face. "H..hi jett w..what can i do for you?" the secretary stutters out nervously. Jett smirks at her reaction "hi my friend here needs her Schedule" jet spoke calmly. The secretary looks relieved "whats your name doll?" i immediately frown because only mikey can call me doll. "Don't call me doll, and the last name is way i don't know what name my father signed me up with". I said irritated. The secretary who I learned her name is Mary typed away on her computer. "Here your schedule ryder" mary handed me a schedule and me and jett skipped out into the hallway.</p><p>**time skip to lunch**</p><p>Me and sid ran out of the science room. After pissing off the science teacher. We ran all the way to the bleachers where I see ness on her phone. "Hi ness" i call out to her. Her head snaps up from her phone and a huge smile wipes across her face "hey ryder" she says with a smile. Sid cleared her throat "I'm here too". Ness blushed a shade of pink. "WASSUPE MOTHER FUCKERS" jett screaches while running over to us. I give bones a confused look "he finished his coffee" bones said while chuckling. All lunch we just sat on the bleachers and joked around with each other.</p><p>** timeskip to after school**</p><p>After school I hear my phone playing creep by radiohead and I know it's Gerard calling. I fish my phone out of my backpack and answer it "hey dad" i say happily "hey ryder i didn't know if you wanted one of us to pick you up from school or if you wanted to walk home" i thought for i minute "can one of you guys come pick me up" i ask hopefully. "Sure i am busy so frank will come get you but when you come home i want to hear all about your day" dad said happily. "Sure I will see you soon, bye" I say very happily "bye" I hang up the phone and wait for frank. About 10 minutes later I hear come as you are by nirvana blasting in the distance. I chuckle knowing it's frank. Sure enough frank pulls into the parking lot and rolls down the window he has sunglasses on and a smirk. I can't help but laugh as I open the car door and sit down. Frank turns the song way down and pulls away from the school. "How was your day sugar?" Frank asks curiously. "It was okay, just really boring" I responded, not wanting to tell Frank about my trouble making friends or that I smoked. We spent the rest of the car ride singing songs and laughing even though I was having fun. I can't help but to feel a little bit guilty for smoking. When we pull into the driveway i can't help but to feel excited to see dad again. I want to spend all the time I can with him before he leaves on tour. Once i jump out of the car and grab my backpack a sprint to the front door and open it and launch myself at the first person i see which happened to be ray. Once I flung myself at him in a hug "WHAT THE FUCK" ray screches as we both went tumbling to the floor. Now that we're both lying on the floor, me still hugging him i said "i really missed all of you". I got up from the floor and helped ray off the floor. Next I sprinted and tackled the hugged dad. We both fell backwards onto the sofa. "I really missed you sweetheart" dad said as he bear hugged me. I got up to tackle Mikey and saw him sitting on the sofa with a nervous expression. I calmly walked up to him and gave him a bear hug. Mikey just smiled and kissed my forehead. I stood up to go hug Frank when I got body slammed to the ground with a hug. "HA HA I tackled you in a hug before you could tackle me" Frank said triumphantly. I just laughed and got up. "Sorry for tackling you guys. I'm not used to having loving family figures so i got scared it could lose you" i said sheepishly. "Aww doll we would never leave you" mikey said while hugging me.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. soccer,chalk, and bubbles</h2></a>
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    <p>"How was your day at school?" Gerard asked me. I immediately got nervous but I am a good liar. "It was long and boring," I answered vaguely. "Did you make any friends?" ray asked in a hopeful tone. "I wouldn't call them friends but mutuals" I answer in a fake disappointed tone. "You will make friends soon, I promise," Frank said with a smile. "Is there anything we can do to cheer you up?" dad asked with a hopeful look. I thought for a good minute when an idea crossed my mind. "Can we play soccer in the backyard?" I ask with wide eyes and a hopeful tone. Frank springed up from his seat and yelled "HELL YA!". "I hate to burst your bubble but we need to go to Walmart to get a soccer ball" Ray said while putting on his shoes. "How about we grab stuff to grill while we're at Walmart," dad said with a smile. "That sounds fun but we're going to have to grab a veggie burger for frank" mikey said while slipping on his jacket. Once we all put on our shoes and we all hoped in the car. The whole ride to walmart frank was blabbing about how his shortness was going to help him with the game. Once we arrive at walmart frank takes my hands and sprints into the store dragging me along. We burst into the store and people gave us weird looks as we were laughing and running down the isles until we reached the sports aisle. We grab an all black soccer ball and a pop up goal post set. I hold the soccer ball while Frank struggles to hold the large box that holds the pop up goal post set. We were about to walk out of the outdoor section when I gasped and ran over to the display of sidewalk chalk and bubbles. "OH MY GOD FRANK" I screech in happiness. Frank hobbels over with the large box and asks me what I am looking at. "Can i get the side walk chalk and bubbles, i never was able to have them before" i say in a hopeful tone. "Fuck yeah we can get you chalk and bubbles" frank said happily. So I picked up a box of the chalk and a bottle of bubbles. Me and Frank wandered the store until we found Ray with Mikey looking at sunscreen. "Ray can you help me put this in your cart" Frank said while struggling to hold the box. Ray walked over and easily picked up the box and put it in the cart. Frank grumbled something about how he could do it. I carefully set the chalk and bubbles in the cart. "Why did you get bubbles and chalk?" mikey asked with a smile. "Well my father never gave me money to buy this kind of stuff so i wanted to play with them" i say sheepishly. "I will teach you how to blow bubbles" mikey said with a huge smile. "I feel so excited yet embarrassed that at 14 years old I'm having my uncle teach me how to blow a bubble" I say embarrassed. "Don't worry kid, it's part of everybody's childhood, you're just experiencing it later compared to others," Ray said while pushing the cart Towards the food section of the store. We find Gerard holding a pack of burgers and veggie burgers. "Looks like you guys found everything," Gerard said while chuckling. "We just need burger buns and we can go," Gerard says while walking over to me and putting his arm around my shoulder. We both skipped over to the bread aisle and grabbed a bag of burger buns. And put them into the cart. We were walking over to the cash registers when we heard "OH MY GOSH IT'S MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE" a group of 16 year olds scream. The group of girls run over to us and forcibly push me out of the way and onto the floor. "Hey what the fuck, you just pushed my daughter onto the floor" gerard says pissed while helping me up. "Were so sorry, can we have an autograph?" one girl says showing no regret about pushing me. "Fuck no were not signing shit you all were rude to my niece" frank says pissed. One of the girls rushes over to me and gives me a bear hug and kisses my cheek. At that point I am extremely uncomfortable. "Okay you guys need to leave right now" Gerard says while Ray pulls me into a hug to get me away from the fan girls. Ten minutes later the Walmart security dragged the girls out of the store and we checked out. With all of our stuff bagged we walk to the car. "I'm so sorry about those fangirls" Gerard says, feeling really guilty. "It's not your fault, god it felt like a dead fish kissed my cheek" i say while wiping my cheek. All the guys burst out laughing. We all pile into the car and sing along to the shitty pop songs on the radio. By the time we got home we were all in tears with how hard we were laughing. "Okay everybody grab two grocery bags" Gerard says while picking up two white bags. I lock up the car holding the two lightest bags. I waddle into the house with the bags and set them on the kitchen island. I walked to my room to change into work out shorts and a Ray Toro is a god t-shirt I got at a hot topic to weird Ray out. I lace up my vans and walk out of my room and into the kitchen where nobody was. I heard laughing from the backyard so I walked into the backyard where Gerard is heating up the grill. And ray is assembling the goal posts while frank is attempting to open the box that the soccer ball is in. I excitedly ran over to the patio and dropped to the ground with a plop. I reached over to the box of chalk and excitedly picked up a stick of bright pink chalk and started to do a random doodle of a pink bear like creature with a white and black face. "LET'S PLAY SOCCER NOW" frank yells excitedly while running onto the lawn. "Dear god where did you get that shirt?" Ray asked while staring at my ray toro is god shirt. "I picked it up at a hot topic to freak you out," I said while laughing. Gerard runs over to us and we split us up into teams. Me, ray, are on one team and gerard frank and ray are on a team. We put the soccer ball in the middle of the field and we have a countdown. " 3.......2......1....GO!!" dad yells. I sprint over to the ball and start kicking down the lawn to get to the goal post. I was about to kick the ball when I get picked up and someone stole the ball then I got set down. "THAT ILLEGAL" i yell while laughing "i will pick you up again short shit" mike says while laughing. I turn around and run back down the lawn to wear Gerard kicking the ball. I run up and jump on his back. Gerard just burst out laughing he was trying to pry me off of him while kicking the ball. Gerard was going to lose the ball so he kicked it as hard as he could and it hit Frank in the face and he fell onto his back which made all of us including Frank laugh. About two minutes later we were all lying on the grass, tears streaming down our faces because we are laughing so hard. "I'm tired, can we all draw with chalk and blow bubbles?" I ask while slowly getting up from the ground. "Sure sugar," Frank says while helping Ray get off the ground. We all walk over and sit on the patio and draw. I grab the bottle of bubbles and take out the bubble wand and hold it close to my face and blow....nothing happens so i try again yet again nothing happens. "Doll blow on the bubble wand lighter," Mike says while chuckling. "Oh shut up".</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. SPIKED COFFEE AND DOUGHNUTS THIS IS LIKE A FUCKED UP CHRISTMAS</h2></a>
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    <p>The next day I woke up extra early. I woke up at 5 am so I can make breakfast for the guys to thank them for hanging out with me last night. When I rolled out of bed at 5:15 am. I walked over to my closet and pulled out my patch pants that I made myself. Once i got dressed in my patch pants and leather jacket. I gelled my short floppy hair and pulled on my doc martens. I walked into the kitchen and quietly played misfits while grabbing the ingredients for pancakes. I got out two bowls and measured out the dry ingredients and in one bowl I put the milk eggs in the other bowl but the coconut milk and the egg replacement. While the vegan pancakes were cooking I went to the fridge and pulled out the fruit. I was singing smashing pumpkins while dancing around the kitchen while whipping the vegan whip cream. About 6 am I had an impressive breakfast prepared for the boys and my dad. I walk down the hall and into my dad's room where he is still sound asleep. I walk over to his side of the bed and I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. " hmmm...wha?" dad mumbled out sleepily. "I made a big breakfast and i wanted to wake you up nicely while i scare the living shit out of the rest of them" i say with a smile. "You can scare them, just let me have coffee first" dad mumbles with a smile. He gave me a hug and stumbled into the kitchen to I assume to get coffee. I go to the kitchen and gran two pans and i walked back to the hall i started banging the pots together and screaming "I CHIMED IN WITH HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR NO IT'S MUCH BETTER TO FACE THESE KIND OF THINGS WITH A SENSE OF POISE AND RATIONALITY" i waited a few minutes and Mikey and ray walked out of their rooms with a scowl. "I need to wake you guys up, there is coffee and breakfast in the kitchen" I say with a smile. Their scowls immediately turned into smiles and they both stumbled into the kitchen and I followed behind them. Once they guys sat down and were handed a cup of coffee. I sat down with them. "Are you going to wake up frank?" ray asked, confused. I just smirked. "FRANK DADS LETTING ME GET A DOG HELP ME CHOOSE" i yelled while getting up and taking the pancakes of the oven where they were kept warm. Frank ran into the kitchen and started jumping up and down "GEE YOUR LETTING US GET A PUPPY" frank squealed happily. "Sorry to let you down frank but......" Gerard trailed off not knowing what my name and pronouns were today. "Sweetheart, what's your pronouns today?" Gerard shouted from the living room. "he/him" i shouted back. "Ryder just needed you for breakfast" Gerard said with a sad smile knowing this will disappoint frank.''eh it's fine at least i'm getting breakfast" frank said with a shrug. In the kitchen I set out placemats at the seats on the kitchen island. I put down 4 plates and 3 stacks of normal pancakes on 3 of the plates. On the last plate I put the vegan pancakes. I went to the fridge and pulled out the bowl with the vegan whip cream and the normal whipped cream. I set those down at the kitchen island. Once I set down the fruit I called them boys and my dad. "BREAKFAST IS READY" i yelled to the boys who excitedly came and sat down. "Vegan pancakes for you frank" i sat down on the plate in front of him. "And the vegan whipped cream in the bowl is homemade" I said with a smile. "Thank you, that's so sweet," Frank said before he stuffed his face. "and normal pancakes for you guys" i said while i gave each of them a plate. "Thank you ryder" all the boys said at once. I just chuckled, "your welcome, i have to go to school enjoy your breakfast" i said with a smile. "HELL NO" my dad said with a are you kidding me face. "You just made us a huge breakfast and you're not going to have any" mikey said with a sad face. "Don't worry i ate mine before you guys were up" I lied through my teeth. "Oh well ok I will see you after school" Ray said with a smile. And with that I walked out the door. About halfway through my walk i noticed how hungry i was so i stopped at a doughnut shop. When I walked in I noticed it was kinda like a diner. I walked up to the counter and rang the bell to summon an employee. A few seconds later a redneck looking man walked up to the counter "what do you need sugar lips" he said with a gravelly voice obviously he was a heavy smoker. His nickname for me almost made me physically cringe. I realized I could probably get my food for free if I flirted with him enough. "Can i have a box of 10 doughnuts and three cups of coffee and whisky" i say in a high pitched feminine voice. "Sure thing sugar lips" he said with a sickening smile. About ten minutes later he came out with my order. "That will be 10 bucks, even sweet lips" he said with a crooked grin. I just pretended to look for my wallet and I let out a pathetic huff. "I forgot my wallet, what if i give you my phone number instead" i said with a smirk. "I think that will work," the disgusting guy said with a chuckle. I quickly scribbled down a fake phone number and let the shop with my drinks and food. A little while later when I walked into school i see the gang sitting on the bleachers. I walk up to them and a Announced "i brought food fuck faces" they all turn around and give me a smile. I sat down on the bleachers and opened the box where everybody took a doughnut. "Oh i almost forgot, ness and jett i got you guys coffee with whisky" i said with a smirk. "Thanks cupcake" ness said to me and i blushed like crazy. "SPIKED COFFEE AND DOUGHNUTS THIS IS LIKE A FUCKED UP CHRISTMAS" jet squealed while taking his coffee from my hand. "Thank you ryder, also you need to watch your back today the preps apparently sent some people to "talk" to you" bones said with air quotations around the word talk. "Ness, how about you stick with ryder today" sid said while smirking. </p><p> </p><p>an</p><p>so i finally decided on a upload schedule. i will be uploading one 1000 word chapter once a week on Sundays.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Its hella gay</h2></a>
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    <p>**time skip to the end of the day**</p><p>Me and ness were walking together out of our last period. We spent the day together and we got to know each other really well. "So cupcake why don't you skateboard with me and i can drop you off at you house" ness said with a sweet smile. I got distracted looking into her eyes. She snapped her finger and I was suddenly snapped back into reality. I looked down and my feet embarrassed "sure we can skateboard home" she grabbed her long board and set it on the ground. "Ok cupcake the only way this is going to work is if i give you a piggyback ride" ness says with a smile. I was a good five inches shorter than her so i knew it wasn't going to be a problem for her to hold me up. I hopped up onto her back and she handed me a wireless speaker to "put on anything you want" she said while starting to skate off into the direction of my house. So that's how on the way home we were screaming greenday. We were Obnoxiously singing along to basket case when we pulled up in front of my house. "This is my house ness" i said while laughing. She tried to skate onto our driveway but she missed so we both tumbled onto our front lawn speakers still blasting greenday. "This was fun, we should do this again," I said nervously. "I would love to do this again.....cupcake" ness said with a wicked smirk seeing how much she can make me blush. I was about to walk up to my door when ness pulled on my wrist and made me turn around right into her kiss. It lasted a good five seconds and when she pulled away I was still standing there in shock. She just chuckled at my reaction and grabbed her skateboard and skated back off down the street. I still stood outside in the same spot for about two more minutes then I finally snapped out of it. I unlocked the door and walked into the house with a cheesy grin. "So who's your girlfriend?" Frank said. I screamed and fell over because I thought I was home alone. Frank just laughed and helped me up off of the ground. "Who's my girlfriend? I walked home alone" I nervously laughed. "Bullshit ryder, the guys went to the studio and I stayed home because I wanted to hang out with you when you got back from school" Frank started to explain. "About ten minutes ago i heard greenday blasting down our street so i looked out the window and saw you on the back of the girl on the skateboard, you guys both fell on the front lawn you got up she pulled your wrist and you kissed for about five seconds and you stood in the front yard shocked for about three minuets'' frank finished explaining proving that i was lying. I just stared down at my shoes. "Sugar it's okay you can trust me i wont tell your dad" frank says softly. "Can we sit down and I will tell you about her" I say with a smile. I set down my backpack and me and Frank walk into the living room and sit down on the sofa. "So tell me about this girl when did you meet?" Frank asked curiously. "Well remember when we went to lunch with the all time low guys? Well when i went to the bathroom she saw me asked for my pronouns and kissed my cheek and called me cupcake" i explain the first part of the story while blushing. "Aww that's so cute" Frank said gushing over me having a crush. "Well when I went to school on monday ness saw me-" i was cut off by frank "her name is ness?" he asked curiously. "Yes her name is ness" i confirm "like i was saying ness saw me asked me to hang out with her friend group and now i'm really good friends with all her friend, as for today i don't know if we're dating but their sure is heavy flirting" i finnish explaining to frank. "Well I would just wait and see what happens with you two but when it does become official i want to meet her'' frank says with a kind smile. "Sense you wanted to hang out. Can we go to the skateboard store so I can see how long I have to save up for?" I ask with a smile. "Hell yeah'' frank said with a large smirk we both hop into his car and start our journey to the skateboard shop. "Did you make those patch pants?" Frank asked while keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah when I have free time I make and add patches to these pants" I say with a proud grin. "Holy shit that's awesome" Frank says excitedly. "I can make you patches if you want" I offer frank. "I would love that, maybe you can teach me how to make them so we can make them together," Frank says as we pull into the parking lot. "We can do that when we get home" I say with a genuine smile. When we walk into the skateboard shop I am absolutely shocked. Beautiful skateboards line the walls. I wandered over to where they keep regular skateboards. I found a beautiful skateboard that was all black with pride flag flames. "Hey uncle frank come check out this board" i call out to frank. Frank walks over to where I am and I show him the black board with the rainbow flames. "Its hella gay" i say to frank "well no shit sherlock" frank says while chuckling. "But on a serious note this is a rad board" Frank says with a smile. "I'm going to ask how much it is so i can see how long i have to save up for" i say while walking over to the counter. The person working the counter was obviously stoned out of his mind. "Hi how much is this board?" I ask trying to ignore my urge to ask for a hit of his blunt. "Little dude that will be $80 bucks" he says looking at me with a smile. "Rad thank you" I walked back to the wall and i put the skateboard back and walked over to frank. "The boards are $80 so it hopefully won't take me that long to save up $130 bucks" I explained to him. "If the boards cost $80 why do you need to save $130?" Frank asks curiously. "Well I need to have money to get the board and a nice helmet" I answer as we both get in the car. "Makes sense, shit i forgot my wallet in their stay here while i go get it" frank says as he climbs back out of the car and runs into the shop. About ten minutes later Frank walks out carrying a board and a black helmet. As soon as he gets in the car he says "so i bought you the board because i wanted to" frank explains . "Frank you didn't have to buy me that" I say while giving him an awkward hug over the middle console of the car.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. He let out a string of curse words</h2></a>
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    <p>On the ride home from the skateboard shop we sang along to the dead kennedys. Once we got home I went to my room to put my skateboard away and to grab my stuff for patches. I set down my box of sewing stuff and called Frank into the kitchen. "Are you ready to make some patches?" i say with excitement. After 10 minutes of explaining how to make a patch me and Frank were talking while sewing our patches. I got bored of sitting on the Bar stools of the kitchen island so I hopped up onto the kitchen island and lay on my back while Frank was sitting on the stool like a normal person. After a while of listening to music and sewing our patches I turned down the music. "Hey Frank, I think I have adhd " I say with a huff. Frank sets down his patch and looks at my "what makes you think that" Frank says sarcastically . I just roll eyes. "No matter how hard i try i cant fucking stay still " I say flipping from lying on my back to my stomach "tell me about your high school days" i blurt out randomly. "That was random but okay" frank said while getting up and laying next to me on the kitchen island . I just turn to him and lay my head on his chest and continue to sew my patch. I honestly have been very confused and stressed lately so i happy to be calm right now. But i cant help but to feel guilty for drinking. While frank was telling me about him and his dumb ass friends in high school i fell my eyelids grow heavy. Eventually I fell asleep on Frank, both of us still laying on top of the kitchen island.</p><p>**gerard pov**</p><p>Today, Mikey and Ray spent all day in the studio. Frank wanted to hang out with Ryder when he got home from school. We wrapped up in the studio about 4:00 an hour after Ryder's school got out. "We should stop by the store and get something to make for dinner," Mikey says from the backseat of my car. "What should we get for dinner?" I asked the boys. Ray just starts chuckling. "What a funny ray,'' I ask with a curious smile. "It's just such a difference now that you're a dad" ray explains "were not asking which party to go to, were not planning on going to a club, were planning a family dinner" ray says with a smile. "Honestly I like it a lot better, I feel like our lives have improved so much since you adopted Ryder," mikey says with a large smile. "I guess I never thought about it but i like being a dad, our life is out of the ordinary so its nice to just be a family man" i say happily as we pull into the grocery store. After wandering the store for ten minutes i got a text from frank</p><p>Frankie: you have a weird son man</p><p>Me: what happened? Is he ok?</p><p>Frankie: he fell asleep on me after telling me he cant sit still</p><p>Me: oh my god. Do you want to have a movie night?</p><p>Frank: sure</p><p>"Okay guys change of plans" I tell Mikey and ray. "lets just have a movie night" I told them. "I will go get candy and a movie" Ray says walking off somewhere in the store. "Lets get vegan mac and cheese for dinner, all kids love mac and cheese right?" mikey asked me. "That's a good idea," I told my brother. After a half an hour of shopping we check out into the grocery store. While we were walking from the store to the car mikey asked "why are we having a movie night". "Ryder is sleepy and i want to spend time with him before we leave for tour" i answer while unlocking the car. Once we loaded the groceries in the trunk we hopped in the car and headed home. After a while of ray air guitaring to metallica songs we finally arrive home. When I open the door and walk into the kitchen. I am insanely confused why I see Frank and Ryder laying on the kitchen island. Ryder was still asleep and Frank was sewing a patch. Mikey and ray walk into the kitchen equally confused by what they see. "Um frank want to explain why you're on the kitchen island?" I ask frank. My voice apparently startled him because he accidentally stabbed his hand with the sewing needle. He let out a string of curse words "Ryder got fidgety and sat up here while we were sewing patches then fell asleep" Frank answered with a smile. Ray walked over to the counter and picked ryder up bridle style and he walked over to the sofa and put him down. "Okay lets make mac and cheese" frank said while walking over to the fridge.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. I looked up at ness with a are you fucking crazy look</h2></a>
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    <p>Bones and sid left a while ago to go get us some food. About four hours later after eating and drinking tons of water i felt myself to be for the most part sober. The only problem is that my clothes smelled like booze and cigarettes. "Hey ness do you think we can drop by your house so i can change into clothes that don't smell like booze and cigarettes" i ask softly. "Sure thing but you're going to have to deal with being in a skirt" she says with a wicked smile. "Oh shut up you just want to see me in a skirt" I tease her. She blushes for a second then her cocky smile returns to her face "maybe i do" she says to me before casually walking off to collect her things. I blushed and awkwardly walked over to my backpack. I slung the backpack on to my shoulders and walked over to ness "you ready to go" ness asked me. "Yep" I responded. Ness grabbed my hand as we began walking to her house. Once we got to her house ness led me upstairs and into her room. I nervously went and sat on her bed as she went to pick out some clothes. About five minutes later she came back with a black skirt, a black bra and a black fishnet see through shirt. I looked up at ness with a are you fucking crazy look but she just smirked and pointed to the bathroom. When i walked out of the bathroom in the clothes i felt very uncomfortable yet powerful and badass in the outfit i was in. ness, jett, bones and sid let out a wolf whistle at me. "When the fuck did you guys get here?" i ask incredibly confused. "Ness said you were going home in a skirt, and knowing how masculine you dress I wouldn't miss it" jett said while laughing. "Ha ha ha fuck you to jett" i spat back at him. "Aww cupcake no need to be mad i think you look amazing" ness said with a genuine smile on her face not her usual smirk. I felt better after what ness said. "What time is it" i ask the group while gathering up my things ready to walk home. "About four pm" jett answered casually "FUCK my dad is going to be pissed i have to go" i scream before running out the door. As i walk quickly down the street i hear a faint "bye cupcake" from ness. I blushed and turned around and waved. After five minutes of walking i can see my house. My anxiety levels immediately shoot up knowing i made dad pissed off by staying out late and not telling him. As i walk up to the front door house key in hand i am shaking with nerves. I unlock the door and steep inside to see dad nervously sitting in a chair. His head snaps up and once he sees me he yells "OH THANK GOD SHES BACK" and he runs up and hugs me. I can hear the other guys run out of their rooms and into the living room where dad is still hugging me. When Gerard finally lets go he looks at me with a stern face. "Where the hell were you school got out two hours ago?" gerard yells at me angrily. Before i could answer ray buds in "and why the hell are you dressed like a goth stripper" his tone pissed off and confused. I know dad and ray were right but in the back of my head i can't help but to think why are they worried about me being two hours late if they're going to leave me for six months. This thought fills me with a confident rage. "Well thank you ray for calling me a whore, and dad i was friends" i spit at them angrily. "I would be fine if you texted me you were with friends so i knew where you were. And what the hell you showing way too much skin i do not approve of you outfit" gerard argues back. I ignore him. "Davie, I didn't call you a whore and that's not what I meant" Ray says frustrated. "It's RYDER" I yell back in a desperate fit of rage. I strom past them and into my room locking the door. I can hear on the other side of the door dad yell "ryder get back in here we're not done talking to you" . I completely ignored his comment and walked into the bathroom where I started the shower. Once I step into the shower I think about why I was acting horrible. I know Gerard and Ray were right. I know i was in the wrong but i still was acting out. Confused and frustrated with myself, I step out of the shower dry off and climb into bed and fall into a restless sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. saying goodbye to the guys</h2></a>
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    <p>For the last five days the guys were home before they left on tour I have been a mess. One moment I'm super clingy to dad, ray, mikey, and frank and one moment I'm pissed off and I locked myself in my room. The only thing that's keeping me sane is ness. She has been so helpful when I get stressed and overwhelmed. Ness helps me with homework when i get too overwhelmed in class to pay close attention in class. Today was the last day the guys were home. When my alarm sounded this morning to wake me up I felt dead. I got no sleep the previous night. I was up all night crying. When I rolled out of bed and couldn't find the motivation to get changed out of my pajamas. I just threw on a black beanie and my doc martens and walked into the living room. In the living room suitcases and duffle bags are scattered across the room. The guys leave midday today so they put their suitcases out here to be ready to leave. I had an hour before i had to leave for school so i wanted to spend every last moment i can with them before they leave. I walked down the hall and into gerards room where I found him peacefully sleeping. I just crawled up onto the bed and hugged him while silent tears made their way down my cheek. As tears started to soak through the shirt Gerard was wearing I could feel him start to wake up. "Good morning ryder did you sleep- oh ryder don't cry" he said as he pulled me into a massive bear hug. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick message while I was still hugging him tightly. I heard the door open and I felt myself get pulled into a group hug by all the guys "were not going to be gone too long ryder dont worry" i hear mikey say while rubbing my back. "Can you guys take me to school?" i say while whipping my tears off my cheek. "Of course we will," Frank says happily. I walked out of Gerard's room so the guys and him could get dressed. I sat down on the couch and saw I had a text from ness.</p><p>Ness: I know Gerard and the guys are leaving out of town today, how are you doing?</p><p>Me: i'm doing ok right now, but i know this is going to hit me hard later</p><p>Ness: well today at school they're having a movie day. I will bring blankets and snacks.</p><p>Me: your literally the best. Thank you bat.</p><p>Ness: no problem cupcake.</p><p>I smiled at the nicknames we call each other. A few days ago I found out about Nesses obsession with halloween so now i call her bat. "WERE DOING KARAOKE IN THE CAR!" Frank yelled as everyone made their way into the living room. I laughed at Frank's enthusiasm. I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulders and walked out to the car with the rest of the guys. By the time we pulled up to my school I was crying with laughter because of the karaoke. I got to watch Ray on a cover of single ladies by beyonce. Dad did a cover of smells like teen spirit by nirvana, and Frank does a cover of uma thurman by fall out boy. Mikey didn't want to sing and I understand that. When we pull into the school parking lot I feel tears well up in my eyes. "I really love you guys" I say to the guys. "We love you too, call us when you get to Alex's house after school" dad says with a large smile. I hope out of the car and get a goodbye from everyone. I wave at them then turn around to see ness standing there in a skeleton onesie. She walked up to me and whipped my tears off of my cheeks. "I brought you a matching onesie" ness said with a sympathetic smile. I just kissed her and mumbled thank you into her shoulder as I hugged her. She took my hand and led me away from the parking lot and into the school grounds. We walked to the bleachers to see bones, sid and jett in pajamas. "Hey fucktards" ness greeted our friends. "So as you know today is a movie day" ness said with a smile "why is it a movie day" sid asked the group. "Bunch of teachers quit at once and they couldn't find enough subs in time" bones answered flatley. "Why do you guys sound so bummed for a movie day?" I asked the group. "Every single movie day they just show frozen" jett answers with a groan. "Well not today. I brought my laptop and wireless earbuds so we can watch a horror movie" ness says with a large grin. The whole group lets out shouts of agreement. As we were walking to the cafeteria to watch the movie i got a text on my phone</p><p>Dad: someone from atl is going to be at our house at 5:00 so have your stuff packed by then. I love you</p><p>Me: love you to</p><p>Ness squeezes my hand in reassurance as we walk. Once we're in the cafeteria we sit down in the back and ness pulls out her laptop and passes wireless earbuds out to everybody. She pulled out a bag of chips and a box of cookies and put them in front of us so only we can eat them. About halfway through the horror movie I feel myself start to drift off to sleep. I slowly wake up from my nap to find myself snuggled up to ness. As soon as I realize this I blush. "How was your nap?" ness asked me quietly. "It was great, nice and warm," I said with a giggle. Ness just kissed the top of my head and gave me a warm smile. "Do you want to come to my house afterschool and help me pack for going to alexes?". Ness is the only one who knows I was adopted by Gerard and about how i was going to live with all time low for the rest of the school year. "Of course I will help you pack cupcakes," she said with her signature smirk.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Were about to go into a fight in matching fucking onesies</h2></a>
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    <p>"I hate to ruin your lovey dovey moment but the preps are here and are looking for trouble" bones said looking excited. "I could go for a fight,"I said with a smirk. We gathered up our stuff and put it in our lockers. As we were walking to the bleacher I burst out laughing. "Were about to go into a fight in matching fucking onesies" i said while cackling. "Well I think it's iconic," jett said while spinning in a circle while posing. Once we got to the bleachers there were five preps there. Two were girls and three were guys. "Hello sluts" bones greeted the preps. The same girl who i met on my first day scowled at me. "Hello fag" she sneared at me "hello plastic" i greeted her back. That comment filled her with rage and suddenly she jumped on me letting me tumble to the floor. That sent the whole group to start the fight. The blond headed bitch startled me and sent a good punch to my face i quickly took hold of the situation by pushing her off of my and sending one good hard kick to her stomach i then grabbed her ponytail and whispered in her ear "now i don't like hurting girls, if you leave now i won't hurt you anymore today" i said then dropped hold of her ponytail. She quickly got up and limped away. Suddenly i was picked up by her boyfriend "DID I JUST SEE YOU FUCKING HURT HER?" he yelled in my face "well my friend that is how a fight works" i countered back. He then punched me as hard as he could in the face. I felt blood run down my cheek and I looked at his hand and he had rings. He dropped me to the ground. He was about to kick me in the stomach again when I kicked him as hard as I could in the crotch. He dropped like a sack of bricks and cried. immediately the rest of the preps stopped their fight and rushed to the guys aid. They all helped him up and the group hobbled away. I just had a big smile on my face. I went over to ness to see she was a little scratched up but nothing bad she looked up at me and yelled "HOLY FUCK RYDER YOUR FACE" that immediately brought the attention to bones, sid, and jett. "I got the first aid kit," sid said with a polite smile. She had me sit on the bleachers while she rubbed alcohol on my face. About 10 minutes of pressure the bleeding stopped. "So we were out of bandages just every hour or so to disinfect the cut" sid said with a smile on her face. " Roger that doctor Sid" I said jokingly she just shoved me playfully. We started walking back to our lockers "even though you got beat up pretty bad im fucking amazied you took on two of them" bones said with a excited smile. "You made the jock cry" jett yelled out in amazement. "That was entertaining," I said laughing. When we got to our lockers I grabbed my backpack and flug it over my shoulder. "See you on Monday" i said to bones, sid and jett. They just waved in response. "Lets get my brave fighter boyfriend home" ness said jokingly. "Oh shut up," I said playfully. Ness held my hand as we walked to my house. When I unlocked the door to my house it hurt to open it up and not get pulled into a hug by Frank like i usually am every day. "I know it hurts babe lets just pack up your things" ness said while giving me a reassuring peck on the cheek i just winced because of the cut "oh shit sorry i forgot about the cut" ness said guilty. "Its ok my bat".</p><p>Me and ness spent the next hour packing up most of my life in three suitcases. "Thank you for helping me babe" I said gratefully to ness. "Anytime cupcake" she said with a smirk knowing how much it makes me blush. I just hid my face and blushed. Ness suddenly straddled me and grabbed my face and kissed me. I immediately kissed her back. This turned to us making out, in the middle of our make out session the door to my room suddenly burst open and jack came barging in. as soon as he saw us making out he burst out laughing. We soon heard Alex coming down the hall saying "don't burst through his door he could be changing". As soon as he walked into my room and saw Jack laughing on the floor and ness straddling me and both looking like deer in headlights he smirked. Ness quickly jumped off of me and sat down next to me on the bed. "Well this is my girlfriend ness" I muttered out embarrassed. "Well no shit sherlock" Jack said, getting off the floor. "HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR FACE" Jack said as soon as he got a good look at my face. "I got into a fight" I mumbled. "You what?" Alex said worried. "I got into a fight" I said louder so they could hear me. "My cupcake made two jocks cry" ness said proudly i just blushed that she used her nickname for me. Alex and Jack just chuckled.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. getting used to a new normal</h2></a>
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    <p>Jack and Alex each grabbed a suitcase and started to walk to their car. ness grabbed the last suitcase and I grabbed my backpack. I quickly went to gerards room to steal a hoodie. When I entered the room there were two notes on his bed and a hoodie. I read the note that was not sealed in an envelope. Check the rest of the guy's rooms. I collected the hoodie and the envelope and walked out of gerards room and into the rest of the guy's rooms. There was a hoodie and an envelope in each room. As I was walking out of the rays room i heard ness call out "where are you ryder". "I'm over here" I yelled back while walking down the hall. Ness walked up to me and smiled when she saw the four hoodies in my hand. I quickly put the hoodies and notes into my backpack and put it back on my back. I grabbed nesses hand and we walked out to the car. When i opened the door i yelled "can ness come over and help me set up the room". "Sure but the door stays open" Alex says sternly. Jack just starts laughing. "Oh shut up" I say jokingly pissed off. Ness climbs into the back of the car with me. We both buckled up and were off. "How long is the drive to the house?" I ask curiously. "About an hour," jack responds. "Ness if you text your folks you can spend the night" Alex says kindly. "Alex, I thought you were playing the role of a strict parent" I say giggling. "Well your door stays open and you two dont fuck and it will be fine" alex says in a matter of fact tone. During this whole conversation ness and jack were playing rock paper scissors. During some point of the ride ness fell asleep on me. I just put my arm around her and ran my fingers through her hair occasionally kissing her head. "You guys are cute, how long have you been dating?" Jack asks me curiously. "About a week, but we have been heavily flirting for a week beforehand" i answer while still running my hand through her soft black hair. "Also don't you dare tell dad or any of my uncles about us dating. I wasn't going to tell you but Jack somehow found out" I say the last part sarcastically. Jack and Alex just snicker. "Don't worry, Ryder, I won't tell them," Alex says. When we finally pull up to the band house I realize I need to wake up ness. "Wake up my bat" I say in a sing-song voice while I gently shake her. "Hhmm..what? ..cupcake?" she says groggy and disoriented. "Thats cute as fuck" Jack says to us. "Were here at the house" I say to ness. She unbuckles her seatbelt stretches then plants a kiss onto my cheek. I once again wince because of the cut. "Shit i gotta stop doing that," she says guiltily. Alex jack and ness grab a suitcase i grab my backpack and skateboard. Alex unlocks the door to the house and lets us inside. I set my stuff by the front door and groan in pain. The pain meds I took at school are wearing off. "Alex?" I whined. I get no response . "My face and body hurt like a bitch, can you get my pain meds and show me where the kitchen is so i can get some ice" i whine out again. Ness rubs my back trying to comfort me knowing I'm in pain. Alex jogs back down the stairs. "I didn't hear you, what did you say?" he asks with a concerned tone. "My face and body hurt like a bitch can i have some pain meds and a couple of ice packs?" I ask kindly. "Sure thing, go sit on the couch and i will bring them to you" alex says sweetly. Ness helps me limp to the couch. I sit down and ness sits next to me and pulls me to lay down on her lap. Alex comes back and hands me water and the two Tylenol pills I swallow then lay back down. Alex comes back with two three large ice packs. I put one on my stomach, one on my back and one covering my entire face. I lay back down my head in my nesses lap and I groan in pain. "RYDER IS HERE COME WELCOME HIM" jack screams while running down the stairs. "Shut up Jack, he's in pain" Alex snaps at him. "Sorry he was fine in the car, I didn't know he was in pain" Jack says sympathetically. Ness just runs her fingers through my short fluffy hair. I hear two more pairs of feet coming down the stairs. "What's wrong ryder?" I hear rain ask. "He got into a fight at school" I hear ness answer for me. "Who are you?" Zack asks sweetly "im his girlfriend ness" she answers kindly. I feel my face start to burn from the cold so I take off the ice pack. Ness kisses my forehead. "Holy shit you lost the fight bad" rian says in shock. "I actually won the fight, I made two jocks cry" I say proudly. "That's awesome," Jack says with a smirk. While waiting for the pain to go away we all decided on watching a movie. Once the movie was over I felt a lot better. "Who is going to show me to my room?" i asked loudly even though we were all still on the couch "I will'' alex shouted back. I just giggled. Ness helped me up and grabbed my backpack and Alex led me upstairs and into a hall. My room was at the very end of the hall alex opened my door with a grand gesture. I stepped inside and saw a big empty white room. There was nothing in the room besides a bed and a dresser and my three large suitcases. "This will always be your room even when you leave" Alex says with a warm smile. "I love it, I can make it a little more my style right?" I ask them. "Of course!" Jack yells. I gently hug the adults in the room. "You and ness can unpack now, leave your door open, no fucking" alex says sternly. Everybody else burst out laughing at me and nesses bright red uncomfortable faces.</p>
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